Episode 47 Transcription
.[00:00:00]
Welcome to The Be About Being Better podcast, where we help people make evidence based sustainable. Small changes for their health that compounded the huge shifts towards a better, more vibrant life. I'm your host Abbie Stasior, a health and life coach, future registered dietician, a master's graduate from Columbia University, and a certified intuitive eating counselor.
And I believe that we can't make lasting or meaningful change single handedly. So I'm so happy that you're here so that together you can see that a diet free, sustainable lifestyle is possible, and you can leverage that to live a better life. And remember my disclaimer, This podcast is meant to give you general information.
And it's not meant to substitute or replace medical advice, a diagnosis or serve as treatment.
Abbie: Hello. Hello, y'all. I have a very, very impactful interview for y'all today. My girl, Paige Vandy, has joined the podcast today. Her and I met, we were in a, an entrepreneur mastermind where a bunch of entrepreneurs get together and collaborate for. Certain amount of time for us. We were together for six months and that was hosted by our business coach, Megan Lanis.
She's been on the show before, and this is also the Mastermind where I met Kay Hillman and Kay Hillman has also been on the show, episode 27, where we talked about elevating your faith. Um, she was also in that mastermind as well. So I've met so many amazing entrepreneurs that have all different types of businesses, all different types of stories, and I can't wait to share Paige's story with y'all today.
Couple. Things about Paige. She is an online business coach for entrepreneurs that have an online health and fitness coaching business. So , she is a health and fitness coach. , and business coach that coaches other health and fitness coaches. She is absolutely fabulous and she has a very impactful story.
So I just have a couple. Trigger warnings for the episode. She talks about some abuse. She talks about being put in a troubled teen program, and we're gonna link up some resources in the show notes. Um, but if any of you have seen Paris Hilton's documentary, I haven't yet, but I am going to, because of this interview that I had with Paige.
Uh, she. You know, made me aware of this. I'm definitely gonna go watch it. But if you have seen that, then you kind of already know where this might be going, uh, with Paige's story. But good news, she has come out of this really tough situation. She's ended it up on the other side and she talks about how she got through it and how she has ended up on the other side.
We're having a life that she is so proud of, and. A life that she dreamed of and how she really just took the reins of her her life and changed things for the better. So I'm really excited for y'all to hear her story because although it is hard to tell and it's sometimes hard to hear, it really is inspirational and, um, I'm excited about it.
Let's dive in.
Yay, y'all. I am so excited to welcome Paige Vandy to the V about being Better podcast. This is going to be a fire episode. I'm so pumped. Paige, thank you for being here today.
Paige: Thank you for having me. I'm excited.
Abbie: So good. Well, the first question that I always ask all of my guests in lieu of a traditional podcast intro, because sometimes those can get.You know, just over overheard we're oversaturated. So I always like to just dive right into the deep end. Um, what is something that you've been through in your life that was really difficult to go through at the time and very hard, but now since you've been through it, you can look back and be like, that changed me for the better. Made me, help me step into my best self. Got me to where I am today. But at the time that was. Really difficult. What is that
Paige: Oh My gosh. Like which one do you want? Um, well I think let's go to cause I'm gonna, yeah. let's go with a more recent, recent one. Is in 20, I think 18. I had broke up with a relationship. Um, Ifound out that he was cheating. And we had just gotten a puppy. and I really faced wondering,do I just like go back home? Which is eight hours away from where I live. This was also just when I started my business, and so I wasn't necessarily making good money yet. I was kind of like surviving line type thing, And I made the decisionto stay where I was living. And I should kind of preface, this is where I live right now is very expensive. It's like a, Cause I live in Canada. Where I live right now is almost like a US California
Abbie: Mm.
Paige: Like nice California, they call it little Napa. But anyways, it's expensive. It's expensive And so, and none of my family's here. And so I decided to stay here, really go all in with my business. take my puppy with me, And do it on my own. And I am. so grateful that I did that because while it was very very hard andI, I really had to put my all into business and really had to have a belief higher than myself that it would work out, which I think was a huge thing. Um, I think going through that, And really coming out the other side, growing a multiple six figure business, really like having that be the year that I took off in business and that I took off and established myself and things started working for me. I think really sticking to my alignment and saying, this is where I wanna be and this is what I wanna do. Rather than going back home and just going back to my old salary job and going back to where it was less expensive and safe. I think really holding that vision for myself and knowing, no, this is who I'm going to stay here because who I want to be aligns with this place and who I want to be aligns with what I'm doing in my business. And thank God I did that because looking back, if I had gone home, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have my business. I wouldn't be where I am. So I think that's one of the many,
Abbie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So did you have the belief at the time, Or is this something that you developed going through it? That everything in life is happening for you, not to you?
Paige: you know, it's, and I mean, I think we'll get into my story as well as where I really established this, um, but it took. Many years in my twenties to get this belief that, you know, I, no one was really going to save me except for myself. And if I wanted to do anything, I needed to make it happen for myself. And at this time, in 20 18, 2019, that's when I really started getting into almost like spiritual work a little bit, and knowing that, Um, for me it was very like universe work and knowing that, you know, when I'm in alignment and when I'm doing things as my best self, everything's gonna work out for me. And I, that, that became very apparent in little things that I would do. You know, when I would, when I would start my business or when I was first starting, I would do small little, like I would be, I remember sitting on my living room floor struggling and crying and being so scared of where my next paycheck essentially was gonna be coming from when I was starting my business. And always having that true vision of, okay, well, when I do these actions, when I'm living as my best self, when I'm doing my journal work, when I'm taking care of myself first, things work out for me And money comes in. And that started happening over and over and over again. Whereas as long as I held that belief for myself, these little things started to happen. and so I think over time it just became. very, very apparent to me.
Abbie: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Once so many blessings were coming, it's like, I can't deny this anymore. Yeah. Absolutely. So maybe take us back now to where this all started in the beginning and those really hard times. Cause You have a very impactful story if you wouldn't mind.
Paige: yeah. yeah. So I always laugh at this because when people are like, oh, tell us your story, and then you get the people who are like, well, I was born and.so and so, but like, my story actually does start when I was. A child. So for me, I I'm from Canada. I grew up in a place like a province calledAlberta.and I hada pretty normal family I think, like I was, we had a really nice house. My parents worked good jobs. Um, My dad was a prison guard, uh, higher up in the prison. And then my mom was a nurse. And so We always just lived like we had. Nice. We lived in a Nice. neighborhood. We had, like, We were average.We had good things. I was very athletic growing up. Um, do you remember those old Ty Bow videos where there was like that guy and he was kind of doing exercise, like dancing,almost Like aerobics kind of exercise. So my, that was like what I would do for fun. , like when I was little, like I would love that stuff. I remember my dad had a punching bag downstairs and a bench press and weights and Like I would hang out downstairs and just do that kind of stuff. Like I loved it. I thought It was so fun. And so grew up, played competitive soccer. Um, my mom would always take me to her gym. It was an all women's gym. and I was probably like very young teenager, maybe like 12, 13. I would go to the gym And I loved it. Like that was just something I absolutely loved to do. It was in me, so we had a good, just regular family dynamic. Um, as I started to get older teenage years, I do what a lot of teenagers did is I would start to, okay, well, oh, , my friend's parents have coolers, like, we're gonna try that. And like doing little things like that. My parents, again, my dad was a prison guard. You have to kind of know as a prison guard, he's gonna be very, he's gonna be more on the strict side, more of the like, look at the world as a, you gotta be careful kind of thing. Right? It's not like all rainbows and butterflies. And So as I started getting older, I my friends started to, like, their parents would give them coolers and wine here and there. My parents were very, very strict about that. Um, and for me, I've always had that well, I'm gonna kind of do what I wanna do, attitude.
Abbie: Yeah.
Paige: That is just what
I
had.
And so
for me,
my
parents or
my friends would
start to go
out
to parties
in high school,
say like
we were
15 years
old.
My friends
would
start to go
to. Parties
and we'd wanna go out
and stay out
later.
and
my friends
had that
relationship
with their
parents where they
could be
like, Hey, can I
call you
if I end up
drinking
too much? Or
Could you pick me up
if
I
need
a
ride,
kind
of thing.
And like they
had
that
understanding,
which was
really nice.
for
me and
my parents.
It was more
so like
you drink and you are grounded, you do
this
and you
are not
gonna
see the
Light of
day again.
Whatever
that
saying is.
And like very just fear-based almost. Me,
I'm
still gonna do
what I
want, unfortunately.
Abbie: Yeah. Yeah.
Paige: don't
necessarily
the, the fear
parenting
didn't work
for me.
So,
fast
forward,
I
still went out,
but when all of my friends
would go
home,
I
was.
Too scared to go
home.
I
felt like
if I
went home,
I would
get
in
a lot
of trouble
because I
was drinking.
I don't wanna
know
what
that's gonna
be like,
so
I'm just not gonna
go
home.
I would
stay at
friends'
houses.
I
would
stay
out
like way,
way, later.
Sometimes I would
try and sneak back
in,
but
stay
out
really
late
So
that they
wouldn't
be up.
I would
do
anything to
basically avoid
my
parents,
which looking at a parent's
point
of
view.
Where's
my daughter?
What is
she
doing?
What kind of trouble
is
she
in?
Who
is she
out with?
They had
no idea what
was
going
on.
We didn't have that
relationship though,
where we could
talk and say
like,
Hey, this is
what I
was
doing.
I
would
get home
whenever I
got home.
They would
be
yelling,
they would
be
crying.
There would
be slammed doors,
and
that
was
my
teenage
years.
Over and
over
and over
and over again.
That
was the tension
every
single
week.
because
every
single week there
was
a weekend
and I would go do
stuff.
And
not
to say that I
was
in the right
to do these
things
because
teenagers probably
shouldn't be out
drinking
and partying and
whatever.
But
at the same
time
there,
there
wasn't that
dynamic
that
really
we
could really talk about
it
and
then
kind of
come up with a
solution.
Like
maybe,
maybe you can
go out a little
bit later
and
like
maybe you
just
don't
drink that one. You know what I mean?
Abbie: It wasn't really a
safe
space
to do
that. Yeah.
Paige: No.
So I
remember getting ready
for
school
one
day.
I was
going, I was
in 11th
grade, I
believe,
10th or 11th
grade,
and I
remember sitting straightening my
leg.
so,
Really bad
clip in hair
extensions with my
cheese straightener.
The
one
that
you
can do
wet
to dry. That like sizzles your hair.
Yeah.
I remember
doing
that and I
remember one of
my parents,
mm-hmm.
Remember
one of
my
parents
came down and
they're
like,
Hey, so
you're
not gonna be
going
to school
today? We're
actually
gonna
be going
to Las Vegas.
We're gonna be looking at some
properties
down
there.
So it was
like, amazing.
I'm not
going to school. Awesome. I
get to go
on
this
vacation.
I
remember texting
one of my
friends,
this.
And when I
get to
my story,
this
is gonna seem
very
crazy,
but I
remember
texting one of
my
friends this
and
him
saying,
I
have
a
really bad feeling about this.
I don't think
you should
Abbie: Mm.
Paige: And for
me,
I'm
like,
no, you don't
know what you're
talking about.
Like, we're
going to Vegas.
I'm gonna
have
fun. I'm
going on a vacation.
So
fast forward,
we get to
Vegas
and
I'm there
with my
mom, my
dad, my
auntie,
my
uncle.
We're
supposed to be going
to
look at properties
and
so
we
get
to The
hotel.
We
have an
early
night
cuz
we're supposed
to be
doing all of
this
The
next
day,
The
next day,
rolls around. It's
early,
like
very,
early.
Looking
back,
people don't
look at
properties
at
five
in
the morning.
Abbie: Wow.
Yeah. That's very,
early.
Paige: it's it's very
it's very
early,
so
the energy is also
different.
so we get
into
the
vehicle
so,
And
we start driving,
which I
think that we're
gonna
go meet someone
to look
at these
properties. We
get
to
a
parking
lot,
a completely empty
parking lot,
except for
there's
one other
vehicle in that
parking
lot.
We
drive
up
to that
vehicle,
and
this
is literally
where
my even memory
to this
day,
working
on
it.
But this is
where my memory
to
this day
starts
to get a
little spotty.
And the
next
thing I
remember
is,
Two people getting out of their vehicle and putting
me
into
that
vehicle.
No idea
who
these
people are.
It's
a
man and a woman,
no idea
who they
are. I
remember
my dad
bawling
and
just
standing in
the parking lot,
my aunt,
my uncle,
my
mom, my dad. I
just remember
them
standing
in the
parking lot.
They're hugging
each
other,
They're
crying, and I have
no idea what's
happening.
Abbie: This sounds like some
sort of ransom, like
Kidnapping or, I don't
know
what.
Paige: Yeah.
Yeah. And so I
was
in
this
vehicle.
I remember
trying to
get
out, but it was
like
police
locks
where
you can't
get
out from
the inside. And so
I'm like, locked in
this
vehicle.
These people get
back
in, They don't
tell
me
where we're
going, and
we
just start
driving.
So we
leave
my
parents,
we leave my
family.
I don't know
what is
happening.
This is
very
early in the
morning.
Then
we're
driving
for.
Hmm.
I
don't
even know.
it's,
uh, it
could be hours
and
hours It
could be
like two hours. I'm
not
sure. My memory of
it
is
just so
spotty,
but we drive
and I
still have no
idea where
I'm
going.
Abbie: Did you try and ask them questions or
were you scared
like,
Paige: Yeah,
I, well,
I
remember
just putting
in my
headphones to my
old
MP3
player
and
just
listening to
music, like
not
talking,
Being very quiet.
and
just
like
mad,
basically
didn't
know
what
was
happening. I
knew something
was up.
I
knew my
parents,
obviously I
could piece
together that
they had
set this up,
but I didn't know
why. I didn't
know what
was
happening.
No
idea.
So we're
driving,
we get
to this
old, like
this very
small
town,
is
what it
was called
in
Utah,
and
they
drive
me to
a
medical
clinic,
which
When I.
say
like
old town
like
this was,
think of
the
oldest,
like
old
Western
type
of town.
the
building's very
old and
small
and what
like
that's what
it
was.
So they
drive
me
into
this
medical
center.
I have
to
get
a full
physical
from a
doctor.
No idea
why.
Get back into the
vehicle and we
just keep
driving.
So I
still have No
idea
where
we're
going, but I
just
had to
get this physical.
Abbie: Yeah.
I mean, I
know you're so young
and probably like in shock, but were
you like Hey, who are
Paige: so
you know what's
funny is,
well,
I don't
know if
it's
funny, but
I don't
remember
really like
any of the
interactions in
the vehicle at the medical
office.
Nothing.
The next
thing I
really
remember is
we.
Going
up
through
the,
like
have
you been
to Utah,
the,
national monument?
Like
the Red
Cliffs?
Yeah.
So
it
was
going through
there. It
was beautiful, but it
was
basically like
desert
land, like
going up these back
roads
and
hills
or
whatever.
And
we get to this
other
building
way in the middle
of
nowhere, not
in a city, not
in a town
way, in the
middle
of
nowhere.
And
they're
like,
Hey, well,
we're here.
And
we get
out.
I
walk
into this
building,
it reminds me
of
what I
would
think a
small prison
would look Like
Like it's,
the walls are just
concrete.
It's
dark.
And I remember
looking at one of
the walls
and
there's
just
Polaroid
pictures
of
children all
over the
wall.
Abbie: Hmm.
Paige: Mm-hmm.
And.
It was like, obviously it was terrifying.
And when I
got
in
there, that's
kind
of when
they
told
me what was going on.
I
was
being
sent
to a wilderness
program
for
troubled
teens, for troubled
youth.
You're here
for a reason.
You're
here
because your
parents didn't know
what
to like
all of
the
things
basically. I didn't know
how
long I
was
gonna be there.
All
I knew was
that
I
was
Going to be given a backpack
and
I was
going to
be
basically living outside
for the
foreseeable future.
they
took
all of
yeah, they
took all of my
stuff, all
of my
clothes.
I
got stripped again.
Abbie: Oh my
goodness.
Paige: they,
I
remember like
I just
got a
piercing
in
my
lip
fresh
and
they
had to
pull it out
with
pliers
because
they couldn't
get it
out.
Cause
It
was
so,
Yeah,
it was
awful.
It
was
awful.
They took
my
clothes,
put it
in these
plastic bags, put it
in the
these totes, and
they're like,
you're
gonna get
this when
you come
back.
Like
it's not
gonna be gone
forever.
You'll
get
it
when
you
are
out.
So I'm
like,
well,
okay.
At least
this isn't
forever,
which
it
honestly
feels like it in
that
moment.
They
then gimme my backpack,
these new
clothes,
and we
drive up
to.
Again,
another spot.
And
that's
where the
transporters
is, what
they're
called,
the two people in the
vehicle.
That's
where
they
kind of
like
said
their goodbyes,
said
this is
where I
was
gonna be staying.
These were
gonna be my two
like counselor
people. And then there
was
a small group
of other
teenage
girls,
probably like
six or
seven other
girls in
there,
and
they
just left
me.
And
that was
it.
Yeah. And I
just
remember being like,
I
don't
think
it sunk
in.
I ki I
I honestly
don't necessarily,
I don't
remember
what
that
first interaction
was. So
what I
do
remember
next
is waking
up
the
next
day
in
the dirt
on
a.
Small little
foamy
match. We
didn't have
tents,
we
didn't have
shelters,
anything like that. We
had
to
just
use
tarps.
Um,
we didn't have lighters,
we
didn't have
anything to
make
fire. We
had
to do like
sticks. Start
your fire
with
sticks.
like it was
bare.
I
remember
waking
up the
next
day in the
dirt
being like, oh my
God, that
wasn't a
dream.
I just
remember
not being
able
to
process
that, Like, wow, this wasn't a
dream.
This
is actually happening, and it
was the
most
helpless
feeling
in the world.
Yeah.
Abbie: . Like, I'm also
thinking
like, is there some sort of research on this where they're like,
if
these troubled teens, they
think they can just
do
do whatever they want and they don't need responsibility. Good. Well, we'll put you out. If you think you're so responsible and can
take care of yourself,
we're just
gonna put you
out in the
woods and, uh, you you that,
that will
teach you what you
need to be taught and, you know,
show you a lesson or
something that like is, is,
that what they thought was
going to be this a cure?
Is there any sort of research behind that? Like
this can,
this is
wild
Paige: and for,
for
kids
who lived
in the
United States,
it
was a little
bit worse because
I,
was, I lived in
Canada, and so my parents
had
to get me across
the border first
for
those people
to
take me, for
everyone
who lived
in
the States, they came into their
bedrooms
in the middle
of the night
and
Abbie: Oh my
goodness. This is
Paige: every single one.
Abbie: Truly
Paige: which is why it's
being,
there's
the,
like,
if everyone, anyone
listening to
this
has seen the
Paris Hilton
documentary.
on Netflix. That's
what she's
talking
about is
these
schools and this
system, that's
what
they're fighting
to shut
down
because
it's so traumatic and
it's
not
Right.
Right. So
I remember
being in there. I remember
just
like
to give
some context of
it.
We moved
around.
Daily
for the most part. Sometimes
we'd stay in one
spot for a couple nights,
but for
the most
part
we'd
be moving
around.
We had
food drops, so someone
would come
and drop
off
food bags
to
us.
I think
once a week
you
had
Tora
ration
your food.
I was
awful
at
that at
the beginning,
and
if you ate all
your
food, they
didn't
give
you more.
So I remember
living
off of
a baked
potato,
a single
baked
potato, and like
some
garlic.
That I
had until
I had
to
wait
for my
next food.
I remember having
to go
to bed early
because
it
was so windy.
One night
we
couldn't
start our fire,
so we
couldn't make our food
to
eat. Like
it was
very,
there
again,
there's
no
one
coming here to
save
you.
You gotta figure
it
Abbie: Wow. And what
were
the dynamics
like with the other, were
they all
women in the group? Like were
people friendly?
Were
they. Mean, were, were
people trying to help one another?
Paige: So
there was
like this wave
that
happened,
which
was, I
mean,
when people first
got
to
the group, it
was
very
common
because
we'd all
kind of get there at
different
times
and
leave at
different times.
Right.
Um,
the, I think
we, like you
had to stay
for
two
months. When I got there, it
was
really hot.
When
I left the snow was
up
to my
knees. So we are
living
in
the snow in
that
as
well, which
was.
A
whole
other
story,
but
people would kind
of like trickle
in and
what would happen
normally is
most
people would be
just very
mad,
angry,
not
talking to the group.
Some
people were
on suicide
watch
where
they
had
to sleep under
tarps, like under
actual,
like
we
would have
our tarps
and trees and
stuff like that,
but they'd have to have one
on
them so
that
if
they
moved,
one of the
counselors
would wake
up and,
Whatever.
Um,
and so,
and they would
take our
shoes in the
middle of the
night
so
no
one
could run away.
Like,
so
the
vibe
there was
like,
you're
in
something
for you're, you're
in trouble. right? And
so a
lot of
people
who come
in there,
they're
not
all
happy
and Like
Hey, it's
nice
to meet you. Like
everyone's
very
mad.
What
ended up
happening
though
is, this is
kind of
a weird
turn of events, is I. remember. Near
the end of
me being there,
like
you made very
solid friends,
and
as you're
there
longer, you kind
of surrender
a little
bit
and you
can't
stay mad because
if
you, if you
stay mad, it's only
gonna
be awful
for
yourself.
Right? Like
it's,
you're not
hurting anyone but you by
just
kind of
staying mad.
And
so
that's
what I, my
experience was
anyways,
And
so
When
you kind of
got
to
the end, I
remember
also feeling like it
was
one of like the
most
peaceful feelings
that I had felt in a
long
time.
Just
being outside
for
two
months,
not
washing our hair, not having
tv, not
having
cell
phones, not
having responsibilities
besides
like staying
alive,
not
having
any
distractions,
not having
like
at
the school I was in high school,
so not
having
drama, like things like
that.
You
just.
You're
just.
there.
You don't have
anything to numb
out
with.
You're there
with your thoughts
when
You're
when you're,
not
walking around,
whatever,
you're
just
there with
your
thoughts.
You have a
journal, you have a
book,
maybe
you're
doing
stuff, and it's
kind
of crazy
that
shedding
everything
that
we
have
in our society,
how freeing that can actually
be
and
how
at peace you
actually
can be
with just
nothing.
Is a very,
it
was a very
cool
feeling.
Abbie: I have so many questions.
First, do you keep in touch with
anyone still that was
there?
Paige: Um, I
one person
and
we
don't
keep,
and
this
was
so,
cuz
this was only
the first portion
of
it,
there's
a second
portion that comes after.
So
for this wilderness,
One
person I do,
Abbie: Okay. Okay. And then
I wanna know about integrating back into your family.
Too. And then also the piece that you were just speaking to, like, do you keep
any of those principles today where you
try and be more minimalistic and that really, like, it
kind of shaped you forever?
Um
and like any experiences from
how do, how do they show up for you today? ,
Paige: The integrating one.
Yes. So
that was
actually when
I had my
first
panic attack
in my entire
life. And I thought
I
was
dying.
I
thought I
was having
a
heart attack.
Cause
I've never
had a
panic attack
before. When I
left
Wilderness,
it
was
in Utah and
we had to
fly out of
Vegas
for the
next step,
which I'll get
into.
Um, but
driving, getting
in a
vehicle,
first
of all
was a trip.
Um, once we got
into Vegas
itself with
all the traffic
and the
lights
and
just the city,
I had a
full-blown panic attack.
I couldn't
handle it.
My,
like,
I
just
couldn't breathe anymore.
my
heart
was
like
beating out
of
my chest.
We
had
to
pull off
the freeway
and
I forget.
I
think it was
my
aunt or
someone
did something
to help me. I
don't
know. I don't,
Abbie: Oh,
so your family
was there at that
point?
Paige: When
they
had,
when they got
me out
of, so
when I
could leave wilderness,
like
when
you could
graduate from it.
Basically
at
the two
months
part,
my
family came
back,
they
came and
got
me,
and
then
we
drove
back
to
Vegas.
In that
time,
that
drive
is
when I had
my panic
attack
because I just
was not used. Like
I
would just
I
was
in
nothing
for so long.
Um.
Abbie: do you remember what
it was like when
you first saw. Your family again, like were
you angry towards them? Were you just
grateful
to see
them? Were they
happy? Were they
cautious?
Paige: I was
very
happy to
see them again.
And
we
were able
to write
letters back and
forth,
like
for
the
two
months
kind
of
thing.
Um,
but
it was like very
surface
level. It wasn't
like why
did you
put me
here? It
was
like,
I. This
is what I
did today.
Like that
kind of
thing.
I was very
happy.
But that
wasn't the,
that, so
that
wilderness
experience was probably like the
highlight
of
my
story.
Abbie: Oh boy,
Paige: yeah.
So what
ended
up
happening, what ended up
happening
after
that
is we couldn't
go back home.
Because
that's
not the
full program.
Like what
happens
is
when
you go
into
these troubled
teen programs,
you go
to this
wilderness,
you
get like
stripped
of the
six, like
the stresses and
everything that
is going
on in your
life.
You
get humbled a
lot.
Um,
but
then you
have
to go
to a
boarding
school,
a therapeutic
boarding school. After
that,
these
boarding
schools
is
what
this movement
is about
to be
shut down.
I,
my parents
pitched this boarding
school in
Montana.
So
what ended
up
happening
was
we
flew
outta
Vegas.
Stayed a night
in
Spokane, and
then drove to
this
boarding
school.
They picked this
boarding
school
because it
was supposed to
be
a college
prep school
It was very elite.
It was
a very
expensive
school.
Um,
there
was a
lot
of
like
very, very, well
off
families
who had their kids
in these schools.
It's.
Was, which
like
makes
me feel
very
terrible looking back
at it
because
they
also said
that
it
was
for
outdoor
leadership. I would go
snowboarding
because I
loved
that I
would do
Holly's hikes and
trips
and
like all
of
this stuff
that
a parent would
be like, wow,
that
if
she's gonna
be
away
at a therapeutic
boarding
school, I
want her to be at
like
the best one
or like a
very
good
one.
We
ended
up
doing
school
three
days a week
for probably
three hours.
Not
very
much.
And remember they promised
that
it was
gonna
be
this college
prep school.
All
of the other hours
we were
doing
some
kind of
labor,
so
like
digging tree stumps,
um,
tidying
the
school
grounds.
we were,
we would
go up
into the mountains
and
use hand
saws, like one person on
one
side,
one person on
the other.
And we'd
saw down these
massive
trees
so that the
school could then
build.
Benches and
tables
and stuff like
that.
they had
therapy
there, so we'd
do like
group therapy
and
then
individual therapy.
My individual
therapist was actually
really
amazing,
but
the group therapy
was what
was
very traumatic.
They
would
do things
like,
like
I remember,
and
this
is actually kind
of
crazy
because.
My
memory,
like
I said,
is just
coming
back from these
things. I
blocked
a lot
of
it
out.
One
of the
things
that I blocked
out,
that I
just started
remembering
is they would
put us in these
rooms
for like
days
at a time.
Dark
rooms, no windows,
anything
like that.
And
they'd
do this
very
invasive therapy
where
I
remember
for
instance,
one of
the like
male.
Um,
teachers,
he would hold
me down on
the ground
with a
pillow
and be like, this is all
the
bad
decisions that
you've made. You
have
to fight
against
it
And
do
things like
that.
Yeah.
And
we'd
be in
these
rooms for three days.
We'd
come out
to eat
And that
was
it.
And it
was just like
very
intensive
therapy
that actually
caused a
lot more
trauma than
it did. Good.
Abbie: Yeah.
Paige: And
that went on
for,
I
had almost
a
year,
I think
I was
there.
Abbie: my
Paige: So
I was
very, very,
resentful
going to
that
school.
They would do
other things
like
put me
on bands
from
the entire
school, which
meant I couldn't
look at
anyone,
talk
at, talk to
anyone,
sit
with
anyone.
I couldn't
be
in
a room
with a
male like a
boy,
because
that's dangerous.
They would
make
us cuddle each other
and
weird
things
like
Abbie: mm.
Paige: If your audience,
cuz
there's
so much
I
could
go
on about this,
but if
your
audience even
wants
to look
into
these,
like this movement
of
shutting down
these schools, it's called
breaking code
silence.org. Paris
Hilton
is a
huge advocate of it
right
now.
Um, cause she
went to the
same
and So,
Abbie: yeah. We'll, we'll
definitely
link
that
up in the show notes.
Paige: Yeah. Yeah.
And so
I
begged
my parents
to
get
me
out of
there
and
like every
kid
did,
my
parents
did eventually pull
me out.
And
I'm very
thankful they
did
because
at the
end
of
your program, at those
schools,
they do a very
in intense, again,
therapy
thing That
creates
a lot of
trauma that
they make you
sign
a
contract
that you can't
tell anyone
in the
outside world of what
they did
in
there.
And
everyone who did that,
just like
came out
very
different
and
very
like
traumatized
And so
I'm very
glad I got out
before
that.
But what ended
up
happening
when I got
out
is
when I got back
to
Canada,
I
got back
to society.
Remember they
said I would
have
the best schooling there. College prep,
nothing
transferred.
Nothing
that
I did
there.
Actually,
I. qualified for
school,
so I had
to
be
a year
behind all
of
my friends,
and,
Abbie: And
with all this trauma So it's like you got extra
baggage, extra years.
Paige: Yeah.
Yeah.
So
Abbie: back and then
to not be
with your
friends.
high
Paige: Yeah. And nobody
Abbie: important. Oh.
Paige: Yeah.
And
nobody knew
where
I
went.
My parents
didn't tell anyone.
Like my best
friend thought
I was
dead.
Nobody knew where.
Nobody knew where
I was.
Yeah.
And
so
for
me,
integrating
back
was very
hard. I had to
do school
online.
That was really
hard. I had to
get a part-time
job because that
was
like
in part
of my
contract.
Um,
I
was
just, I felt
very, like
I
didn't know
who I
was and
that ended
up
me
spiraling.
I
couldn't talk
to
my parents
about,
How I
actually
felt, because
when I
did
it
was just
like,
well, we
didn't know
what to do.
And so that was
kind
of the end
of
the
conversation.
I
couldn't talk to
my
friends
about what I had
gone through because
where
do
you
even
start to
be able
to describe that?
Like
there
was so
much,
so
for me,
that's
actually
when I went downhill, that's when I started
partying. That's
when I
started
drinking more.
That's
when
I started
going out. I
was
kicked outta my
parents'
house
at
18.
18 is
legal,
drink, drinking age
where
I live.
Um, but
my
parents
were
just like, Nope.
Not
having, well, it
was my
mom.
She's like,
Nope, not
having
it.
so I was kicked out
at
18.
All of my friends lived with their parents,
cuz
we're
still in high
school at
Abbie: Where did
you
Paige: most part. Right.
So
I
had
to
go
with.
Go
find
people who were a lot
older
than
me that had
their
own places that
I
had
partied
with
that I
had met
partying,
but they
weren't
good friends.
My good friends
still lived with
their parents.
So it's like, where do
you go?
Right?
So
I
went and lived
with
these people
who
that's
when
really
just bad
stuff started
happening. that's
when
I
started
getting into
drugs
because
they were
very in
that
world. Very,
they
were in
clubs
every
single night. I swear I
started
doing.
It was
a
very,
just
not
good,
not
good
time, and
It wasn't
who I
truly
was.
Like
remember,
I
was
someone
who
really
prioritized
health.
I
was someone who really
prioritized.
Fitness
as a
kid and like
teenager.
And
I
loved
that stuff and that's, I
still loved that
stuff.
Abbie: Like how did you start to
get back
to health and fitness again? Because that
ended up
being
kind of, you're saving grace,
right?
Paige: Yep. Yep. And
so
for me,
I
literally looked
at it
as
like
this little
dangling rope
that
I had.
I would
be out partying,
I would
be out
doing all this
stuff, but I still
Loved
that.
I still
loved health.
I
still loved fitness.
I still
loved going
to the
gym.
While
I
wasn't
prioritizing it
as
I should
have
been,
I still would
make it
happen here and
there.
I'd be,
I'd
be
out
till four
in the morning,
and
then
I'd
make
it to
a spin
class
the
next
day
kind
of thing.
Um,
slowly over
time, and
this was not
perfect, but I kind
of
had
to realize that,
you know,
with
health,
You can't
force
your way
through it.
You
can't force your
way
to
be where you want
to be with
your
health.
For
me, it
was
like,
You can't
just
be like,
okay, well I
want
to
look
a certain
way. I
wanna
feel a
certain way.
I
have
to do this
with
my diet.
I
have to
do
this
with my
fitness.
It doesn't work that
way
for me.
I was
in
that
torn
life
for a
long
time. I was
partying a lot, but then I
wanted
to be this certain
way
and I was
very
I, I felt
just
very pulled back
all
the
time.
I was
like, why can't I
achieve
this? Why
can't I be that
person? Why
can't I get
myself out of
this?
I had to
start
acting as if I
was
that
person,
because for
me, I
felt like I was
living
a
little bit of
a
lie.
I
would go out
partying
with
these people and
with
my
like so-called
friends.
then
I'd wanna go
to the gym and
they'd be like,
well,
why?
Like
you just stayed
up partying
all
night? Like, why would,
you're not
healthy.
you're
not
this,
and
so
for
me,
I
had
to
just.
become that, even if I
wasn't, that I
had
to,
in
my mind, become
that person.
I had to
become
that
person and act
as if I was that
healthiest
person,
because.
all
these people were
saying,
okay, well
why would
you do
that? You're
not
like you.
I
just
saw
you at the club last night.
Right.
Abbie: Not letting
those people define you
Paige: Yeah. And
so you
have to, I
had
to.
Really start
acting
as if I
was that
person
until
it became my
reality,
and then fast
forward.
I
started
acting
as
if
so
much
that I got into, I hired
a
personal coach
because I was like, I
wanna
be
my healthiest
self. I
wanna
be
this best
self
version
of
me. What
does that person
do?
They
work
with the best. They
work
with good people They work
with
people.
to
get them
there.
And
so I
hired my
first coach in
2014.
Um, I
remember
being at my
work
desk
and.
Researching
bodybuilding
stuff
and
macros and
nutrition
and
just like all
of
this kind of stuff.
And so
I ended
up
really
pulling myself
out
of
that
place slowly. this was not
an
overnight,
this
was me
falling
on my face,
getting back up,
falling
on
my
face,
doing a little bit
better,
falling on,
right It,
and
It,
just
kind
of slowly
more
and more
started
getting to this
person
that I
wanted
to
be.
The more
I
really told
myself,
Hey,
this
person
who I
wanted to
be, they
don't
stay out
until five in
the morning.
They don't do
this. They
go to bed
early. They,
and so I,
used
those concepts
and
really
used
almost,
I say
embodiment,
like I,
I,
really got,
clear on who
it
was I
wanted
to be, and
then got, and
then
reverse engineered that and got
clear
on what
those
person's
habits
were, if
Abbie: Hmm. Yes. And that's something I talk about with
my clients,
which we probably need to have a whole podcast episode just about this specifically so that
listeners can hear this as well. But it's something I talk about a lot with my clients, is, If you want to
be your best self, and like you're saying, kind of pull yourself out of a situation, where do you wanna be?
What is
that point B for you? If you're at point A and
getting super clear on who is that person, what are they thinking? What are their habits?
How do they show up every day? How do they carry themselves? How do they dress?
What
do
they eat? like just getting so clear on what that is and then figure out, okay, what
can I start to do for myself?
Where am at point a? And that will help you propel yourself to get to point B. And that's exactly what you're talking about. Oh, that is really powerful. And it's not
like
faking it till you make it. It's taking little bite-sized pieces of who you want to be and integrating that into your everyday
actions.
And that over
time
eventually changes
you.
Paige: Yeah, And I
always say that
as
well
because this
is something like,
not only with my health, but
then
I
use
that
exact same
concept
to
grow my
business
as well. And I tell my
clients
this, that
it's not
faking it
till
you
make it.
It's embodying
it.
until it becomes
a reality.
And I
mean, how
are you gonna create
a reality? You're
going
to
little by little by
little
be doing
those things.
that's
gonna match
you
with that person that
you wanna be.
Abbie: Mm-hmm.
Paige: right.
Abbie: And eventually those actions will overpower
Yes.
cuz there's
a certain ratio. like at the beginning there's nothing.
But then you do a little something where the majority
is
still where you don't wanna be, the things you wanna
give up. But
the more
that bit by bit, you add things
into your
life And habits and routines and mindset shifts and affirmations to yourself that are more in line with
where you want to be in your best self.
That tends to overpower and outweigh
the
stuff that you're running away
from.
Paige: Yeah.
And
you
know
what? I
think that
at
the
same time
too,
it was,
there was such
a
component
of,
I
never, like
I, I would look at
people
that I was
hanging out
with
when I was in my
partying
era.
And
I would
wake
up the next
morning
and like
think back
to
just
what
happened
in the
night, or think
back
to
the
people I
was
with.
Or maybe
like
one
of
them
was still on
my couch.
Like
I
would
look at
these things
and I
was
like,
I
don't
want
to
live a life like
this person. I
don't
want
that. And
it's like,
why am I surrounding
myself with
these
people? Because
if I'm surrounding
myself
with these people, that's
going
to also be my life.
Right?
You
surround, like, there's,
there's so many
different environments
There's your,
no,
there's
your physical environments,
your mental environment,
like
your social there's
all of these different environments
that really come into
play. And
for me,
my
physical environment,
my social
environment,
ev, every environment
that I had, it was.
Not
matching up
to the
environment that
I
wanted. So it's
really pulling back
the curtain
on
that
and saying,
okay, what do I
need
to change
here? And
I
think
another
major part
of this as well
is it's like
you
don't
have to
be
what
other
people
are saying You
are. You don't
have
to
be your lowest
point. You don't
have
to be
your circumstance.
You can
literally make
your,
life
any
way
you
want
it.
And
I
think
when I started
to
pull myself
out
of
that,
and
I remember where,
when
it
really
clicked
to me is
I
remember
sitting in
my
office
at my
job,
like
my nine to five job. I had a good job,
and I remember.
One of
my
coworkers
coming
to me and
just being
like, how do
you
do
it? Like
your
life
is, you
have it. it.
seems like you
have
it all
figured out.
Like you are always
eating healthy,
you're
always
going to
the gym before work.
You're always going
after
work.
You always
have
your stuff in
order. Like
I could never make
that
happen
for myself.
Like
I just,
I could
never do that.
And
I
remember
looking
at
her
and being like,
you can
do
whatever
you
want.
Abbie: Mm.
Paige: Like
you can
literally
do whatever
you
want. And I
remember
just that.
Is
what
really
fueled me to, again,
go on to
do
what
I did, which was
grow an
online health coaching
business.
Um,
but that's,
I
remember where
it
really,
really started was
like
when I heard that
all
I
wanted
to
do was
help her
and be
like, no,
like,
you can
do
this.
You can change your life.
All you
have to do is
like,
take these little steps. All you
have
to do is
just
con
take control of your
life.
and
that was
really
where it
just triggered
for
me was like,
you don't
have
to.
You
don't
have
to be in a place
you don't
wanna be
You can literally
be where
you wanna
be by just
figuring
out
what
is that?
What does that look like? Journal
on
it. Get
very, very clear on What,
that
person
feels
like.
what
what did they
think on
a
day-to-day? What
is their mindset like? What
is
their
physical
health
like? What
is their emotional
health
like? And reverse
engineer
the steps
that you
need
to take
today
to make that
happen.
Abbie: Mm. So good. So good. And next step is
once you kind of have those steps, you figure out
what do you need to do
first to start getting towards the person that you wanna be with the life that. You wanna have enlisting and some help, who already has that
life that you can learn from or Get accountability from?
Do you need to invest in coaching? Um, you know, I think it's really good
to get support in that area and
start to change your social environment because that will, you know, that can sometimes make
or break your success.
Paige: Yeah, and
you know,
it's.
I did that
with
my health
and
then it's
like
you
can,
whoever's listening
if they
wanna do that
with their health.
I
mean,
yes,
if
you wanna do that with
anything else in your life,
your
business,
if you
wanna start a
business, whatever,
that's what
I use. those same
concepts.
I mean, when I
started my business,
I,
it
was in
the
same
year
that you
did, like I started
in
2017,
but
didn't
really
go all
in
until
2018.
And
it
was
the
same concepts.
that
I used
is
okay,
this is where
I am right now.
Making
$0.
Not having a business,
but
I
want
to
be this
person. I
want
to have a
six figure business, a
multiple six figure
business.
I want
to hire
your team
members. I
wanna be a C
E O.
How do
I have
to act
in my
day
to have that
happen? And I
credit
And I
mean, you
and I
had.
The same
business
mentor
as
well. Very Good
friend. She
was
Abbie: Yeah. Meg's been on the show,
so
Yeah.
Megan and y'all.
Paige: Yeah.
but
I
do credit
a lot of
my personal growth
and
being able to reach
these
like
milestones, I
guess
in business
and
in
health
and
life,
From
the
embodiment
practice
that
I
had.
Because
I think
if I just
had the
like,
right, if
I
just had
the, okay,
well you
have to
eat
this. to
get
this,
you have to
do
this to
get
that
If I just
had
the,
strategy
for business,
it's like, okay,
all of that
stuff's
great, but
without the
actual embodiment
work
that
goes into those
things,
it's
gonna
be a
very
bumpy,
long
road ahead.
Abbie: Yes,
a hundred percent. Oh, well, Paige, thank you so much for sharing your
story. Thank
you for
getting so. Vulnerable. I mean, you have
been through the ringer, you've had a very traumatic
story. But look at where you
are now. You've gone through so much healing, you have turned things around for the better, and you've taken,
taken back the
reigns of your life, and it's really inspiring to
see.
So thank you so much for the impact that you're making
in this world. With the clients that
you work with, and for
our listeners as well.
Thank you for sharing. Where can people find
you, um, and are there any other resources that you have or recommend
for
kind of advocating to close these
troubled teen programs?
Paige: Honestly,
the breaking code, silence
is
the best
place
to
go. There's so
many
resources on there
to go. Um,
and then
you guys
can
find
me. My
Instagram
is at
page underscore Vandy.
I
also have a
podcast.
If there's
any business listeners
on here, anyone
wanting
to start a
business,
I have
a
podcast.
It's called
The best
Self
Entrepreneur podcast,
and
there's a
hashtag.
but
It's the hashtag
the Best
Self
Abbie: Awesome. We will link that up
Paige: and that's
where I hang
out.
Abbie: Perfect.
Paige: usually,
Abbie: that's amazing. And then my last question that I always ask everyone
is
what is one thing you're going
to
do this week to make your health or your life
better?
Paige: Hmm.
I
love
it. So I
am
single momming it.
I had my
daughter
six months
ago.
Oh my
gosh.
She's six months
today.
Abbie: Wow.
Paige: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I
think
she's with her
dad
right now.
Um,
and
this
week
I'm
really going to
prioritize
when
she's
gone.
Like after
this,
for instance,
I'm gonna go
do a spin
class.
I'm really
prioritizing giving
back to myself
when she's. Gone
rather
than trying to
fit in
like
a lot
of work
and
a lot
of stuff that I
kind of
fell behind on, or the
stuff
that I
have
on my to-do
list,
I'm
gonna make
it a
really big intention
just
to make sure
that
in those spaces
of
time where
I do
have time
to
myself,
I'm
going to
give it
back
to myself.
Mm-hmm.
Abbie: for being on the show, Paige. Talk to you soon. Thank you.
Paige: Thank you.
Abbie: Bye.
Hey y'all. Thanks again for listening to the Be About Being Better podcast. I so appreciate you. If this episode made you laugh, smile, think about yourself or your life differently, in any way, making your life better, I empower you to share the show with three people who just like you, need to hear this message and have this type of transformation in their lives.
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