Will we empower you to make evidence based, sustainable, and transformative changes for your health, leading to a more vibrant and fulfilling life? I'm your host, Abbey Stasier, a non diet registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, and master's graduate from Columbia University. I believe that we can't make a lasting or meaningful change single handedly.
So I'm so happy that you're here so that together you can see that a diet free, sustainable, healthy lifestyle is possible and you can leverage that to live a better life. And remember my disclaimer, this podcast is meant to give you general information and it's not meant to substitute or replace medical advice, a diagnosis, or service treatment.
Abbie: Hello, hello, y'all.. Welcome back to the be about being better podcast. I am so excited to have my friend Jordan Gomez or Jago for short, come back on the podcast. She came on several episodes ago. Obviously we're going to link this up in the show notes to talk about how to feel good naked. She is a confidence coach.
She does this for a living and she has helped me and so many other women feel comfortable and confident in their own skin. So I'm really excited to have her much. Come back on because now she is pregnant. So lay girl, but she's going through a lot of body changes. And she, we had a conversation her and I, like do a lot of co working together just as entrepreneurs.
And normally we co work too with our friend Kay Hillman. Kay has also been on the podcast. She came on to talk about how to elevate your face. We'll also link up that episode in the show notes that y'all can connect with Kay, but the three of us are really close and it's. Funny because in the episode K gets several honorable mentions.
So I needed to like remind y'all who K is too. But anyway, so the three of us do a lot of coworking together as entrepreneurs and Jago had said, she's like, look, like I thought I did, you know, a lot of healing with my body before I got pregnant, but. As soon as I got pregnant, it was like, Whoa, like I actually need to start from scratch.
And I need to go through the curriculum that I teach my clients and reteach myself all of these things. And really just start from the beginning with my body confidence, because this is impacting me more than, than I thought it would. So that's why I wanted to bring her on today, because I know that so many of you are wanting to start a family and get pregnant in the future.
And you're nervous about your body changing and what that's going to mean. And are there things that you could be doing now to best prepare? your mind, your body, your spirit to go into that season. And then once you're in that season, what can you do? And that's, you know, what Jago speaks to some things before and stuff that you can do during it.
I'll definitely link to her podcast as well. She mentions in the episode that she has a pregnancy affirmations episode that she recent released. So you can head to her show and listen to that. If that is applicable for you in this. Season. And I also have linked up in the show notes, her hot girl healing guide.
Cause she mentions that too. And just, you know, her hot girl healing journey. So we'll definitely link all of that up in the show notes and our previous episode where she came on and I'm really excited for you to dive into this. And I hope that this episode leaves you feeling more empowered, more confident in yourself, and it gives you more tools in your toolbox to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.
See in the interview.
Jordan: How's it going, girl? So good. I'm so glad to be here with you, Abby. Yay!
Abbie: I am so excited to have you back.
Jordan: We've missed you here at Be About Being Better. Oh my gosh. I've missed, I've missed this community. It's such a great group.
Abbie: Oh, literally, we love you. And I am so excited that you are in your pregnant era.
Jordan: Congratulations. It's crazy. Yeah. Lots have changed since we last were on here.
Abbie: Yeah. Literally, lots have changed, but so, so excited. Exciting. Oh, so we'd love to know like how you're feeling and really what we're going to be chatting about today is just all the things, body change and how we reconcile that.
Because I just think it's so interesting that you are like a body confidence coach and you do this for a living. And now it's like you're having to coach yourself through this and it's not
Jordan: easy. No, I have helped. So I've helped a lot of moms. I've helped a lot of pregnant moms. Postpartum moms, everything.
And like, it's. I, last year, went through this healing journey of healing my relationship with my body, and I've talked to you guys last time about feeling good naked, and that's beautiful, but the, the thing that I harp on a lot is unconditional self love. And so loving yourself through all stages, through all sizes, through all chapters of your life.
But when it comes to pregnancy, it, especially with the first time ever being pregnant, it is. It is. All new. So even though there are things that I've learned before, it is so, so, so new to me. And I put a lot of pressure on myself in the very beginning when I was not doing okay in the first trimester and started to feel a little bit down on myself and I had to break up with that.
And we can talk about more, more of that later, but it was definitely, it's been a journey for sure.
Abbie: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, maybe we can just dive in with like first trimester, like,
Jordan: yeah, yeah. What were some things that you were noticing? Like what came up? Well, so. I, you know, I've never been pregnant before and I've like had friends who've been pregnant, but I feel like people weren't really, I'd never heard people speak about anything.
Pregnant symptoms outside of like morning sickness. And for the record, that's a misnomer. Like it is so much more than morning sickness. If you do experience it, not everyone does everyone's different. Yeah. Like for me at my first trimester, I I was feeling sick almost every single day I was feeling nauseous and the exhaustion was what really got me.
I'm. very, very self motivated, have my own business. Like I'm working every single day and I had to cancel launches. I had to scale back on how many clients I was taking on. I had to shift my entire routine, which I'm a huge fan of having a morning, afternoon, evening routine. And I couldn't keep pushing myself to try and fit that period and chapter of my life when I'm entering a new one.
And so I realized like, I was feeling so guilty for not showing up as much as I felt like I should be not being as productive. I was, I was in the past, I'd wrapped up my self worth in my productivity, what I can bring to the table. And that came up for me again. A lot of the things that I had thought that I had healed myself from when it came to body image, when it came to self image those things were triggering me again.
It's it's, we can definitely get into that, but I think the biggest things were You know, when I wasn't sharing it with the world yet, that was a weird feeling because I'm super open. I'm unfiltered. I share everything with everybody. So to be walking around full on pregnant and like no one know about it, weird feeling.
People are like, hey, what's new in your life? Abbey, you asked me this when we would catch up. What's going on? How's your life? Like, you know, nothing new really. Like my whole life feels like it's changing. I want to burn everything to the ground. I don't know what's going on. Hormones are crazy. But then, I, so there's that aspect.
And so I had to work through that a little bit within myself. And then when I did share it it's interesting when you are pregnant, openly pregnant if you guys have been pregnant before they're listening, definitely let me know. It's interesting how I talk about, you know, it's never okay to comment on someone's body.
Something about being pregnant, it like gives people this entitlement or feeling like it's okay to start commenting on people's body, whether it's you know, I've had people say some negative things and I've had people say even positive things, which weren't helpful either. Like saying like, Oh, you're carrying that baby.
Well, or it doesn't seem like you're putting on too much weight. Like that's not helpful either. Cause if I was carrying it, Yeah. Yeah. If I was putting on weight or, or in future pregnancies or if I do gain weight or if I don't like that is not helpful regardless because you're still putting a value to my self worth and how I'm showing up based on my size.
And so, and even just the
Abbie: thought of like, okay, people think it's okay now to comment on your body. Like they couldn't before because they're like, Oh, I probably can, whether consciously subconsciously, like it's not her fault that she has gained weight because she's carrying a child. Oh, this is natural weight gain.
Whereas if people have gained weight before, that means they have made poor choices. That's what they're assuming. Either way. Yeah. Either way it's a bad person, unhealthy person and it's their fault that they've gained weight. That's what people are assuming in our society where we know weight is multifactorial and There are so many different things that could have gone into people gaining weight.
And honestly, I have clients that gain weight and it's because they're finest, finally nourishing
Jordan: themselves. Absolutely. And so regardless of your size, I just think it's crazy. And so I also teach fitness classes and. You know, there was an instance where basically someone within the group that I worked was like, well, I'm, thank God you've shared that you're pregnant now because you're starting to look like, you know, you're, you're starting to look more pregnant and first of all, like as a fitness professional, like.
You can be a instructor. You can be in the fitness field just as you are as the size that you are, you know, strong women can help other strong women regardless of what size you're showing up in. So even though it's like more permissible by society because I'm pregnant, it shouldn't matter. Even if I did gain weight just because I was gaining weight because I was in whatever new chapter of my life, I still can show up fully as a trainer, as all those things.
And so it was. I literally called my husband after that and like cried. I was like, this is not okay. Like, I don't like that. I'm already feeling judged. Even though they're, they're again, giving me like a permission slip. It's, it's still making you think, well, what if I don't lose the weight? And like, it makes you get into these mindsets.
Again, I'm, I've gotten really good at being comfortable in my skin. But the thing about pregnancy is like, It, it can start to feel like your body is not your own a little bit in multiple ways. People commenting on it all the time. You know, it's, it's, you know, you are serving a purpose outside of yourself.
So like having, you know, this baby is definitely a huge purpose. So a lot of people are focused on the baby. And I realized I need to take a step back and keep focusing on me and my self care. And so that's when I actually started doing my like Hawkgirl healing journey again. I started from scratch. I completely started taking care of myself with self care.
But I did it with a mindset around pregnancy so it can serve both of us, me and the baby.
Abbie: Oh, that's so good. That's so good. And you know, I feel bad that the first trimester, arguably one of the hardest trimesters, and that's when you don't have as large of a support system because people you're not as publicly pregnant, right?
You know, and that's where you go through so much change, and it's so new. It's scary. And so it's just unfortunate that you were going through so much in that first trimester and couldn't talk about it with as many people that you normally would.
Jordan: Yeah. It's really hard. It's not okay. And, and the comments, I mean, I've had clients who people have commented and be like, Oh, are you pregnant?
Or what do you do when they weren't pregnant? Or I've had moms who are postpartum, which is a very emotional place to be where they were asking, they were out in public postpartum and you shouldn't be expected to lose the weight quickly if at all. And it's like they were being asked, are you pregnant?
They just gave birth and they were asked like within days, like, Oh, what do you do? That kind, those kind of comments are so destructive and so unhelpful to a new mom, to a pregnant, pregnant woman. And so it's just, it's definitely opened my eyes to so much since being pregnant. So I'm like six months and some change now, as far as my pregnancy goes.
And I have learned a lot over this time for sure. Yeah,
Abbie: absolutely. And one thing that I'm picking up is we internalize that as like, Oh my gosh, like. I'm fat or what if I don't lose the weight? Like it's all like, it's on us when, when people are saying these comments, it says everything about the other person and their biases and, and their discrimination, honestly, and how much fat phobia they have.
Jordan: Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to, cause like as someone who is you know, I'm very much focused on showing up confidently in your skin, regardless of size. We have been brought up in a society focused on fat phobia to where if those thoughts do come up, you also can't guilt yourself about them. Be like, don't be negative about if you are having a hard body image day.
And then you're like, but you're not supposed to care about your size. You know, it's easy to get in that mindset too. And so I had to start giving myself grace. And so the, the, what worked for me was really like, I would take this approach of like, I don't want to change how I'm showing up in the world just because I'm pregnant.
So I, if you look at me right now, if I could stand up, I'm in crop tops still. And I, I'm at the point, like I'm in between phase where people can look at me and be like, she might be pregnant. She might not. She might've just had some Chipotle. That was me all first trimester. Stop I can't with you. Now I'm like, I'm definitely looking more pregnant, but like I'm not at the point where I'm like Rihanna pregnant, where she's like busting out Q in those outfits.
But that's like my goal. Stop I can't. I basically am like, I don't want to show up differently and cover up something that's about my body changing because even if My body didn't change, even if I'm in a larger body at some point, like I've been bigger than I am. I've been smaller than I am. And so I want to love myself exactly the way that I would regardless.
And that's going to be showing up as myself in the crop top in the, you know, random outfits that people might judge me for. And I just I have to roll off anyone else's judgments because they're only getting it worse with motherhood because people always have something to say about how you raise your kids.
Abbie: truly they do. And I loved when we were co working the other day on zoom and I saw you get up and go to your kitchen and you were wearing shorts and a crop top. I was like, so late girl. Yes. I didn't say anything to you, but I was thinking it, I was like, Jago is still being herself. And I love that about
Oh, so good. And it doesn't mean like it's okay. Some people might feel more comfortable when they are in a body that they're not comfortable yet. It might be that they need to go out and still wear like larger clothes or clothes that are comfortable. And there's nothing wrong with that. But still at home, find a way to like, look at your body and embrace your body.
Like the exercises I was doing before with myself, like looking in the mirror and speaking love into my body, looking in the mirror and reading affirmations. Like I recorded a whole podcast episode with pregnancy affirmations. And I literally did it because I'm selfish. I did it for myself. I recorded it so that while I am I'm using like belly oil and lotion and all that fun stuff while I'm doing that self care for myself and the baby, I'm speaking into my body because it is changing and it's.
regardless of the size, regardless of what it looks like day to day. I mean, listen, girl, like my belly button is changing. It will pop at some point. And it's, that's a weird identity crisis. I think I was telling you about, like, I'm like, whose belly button is this? I'm not used to this, but I'm meeting myself where I'm at every single day.
And it's okay if I change day to day, because that's just where I'm at. But regardless of whether you're pregnant or not taking that approach with your body is so freeing because you have to realize that like. We're going to change regardless of whether you get pregnant, don't get pregnant because we are growing and aging and, you know, changing.
And so if we're holding on to, I'm only lovable in this size at this state, making this much money, looking this way, having only these few wrinkles or crinkles on my body, it's going to feel like a losing game constantly because you're always going to be working towards something that maybe was in the past or maybe never was.
And that's just not, it's not a way to live your life.
Abbie: Mm. Yes. And this just made me think of that one scripture about Lot's wife. Do you know that story? Okay. For people listening that don't know. Okay. I don't know the whole story. Cause there's a lot of like, a lot of crazy names and you know, people being delivered from different places and exiled to different places.
But basically lot, this man lot and his wife were being sent to leave wherever they were, their hometown, their comfort, what they knew, what they were familiar with. And they were being led by God and being protected by angels to go to a different place. Our friend Kay, Kay would know where they were going.
So they were going someplace and it was like, God ordained, like they were supposed to go to this place. And literally God said to them, like, don't look back on where you were going. And lot kept going. He kept walking forward. Okay, God, I trust you where this journey where you're taking me in the future.
I'm going to trust you. I'm going to keep walking forward because I know who you are and you're, you have my best interest at heart and you're a good God. And I'm going to trust you lots wife turned around and looked back and like looked back longingly on where she was and the home that she was leaving and her comfort and her friends and was looking back longingly and she was turned into a grain of salt.
And that was the end of Lot's
Jordan: Wife. That's tragic.
I would currently be a grain of salt if that were my case, because I have looked back and that has happened to me. So I don't, if you guys have done that, don't feel bad about it either because that I'd be there. I
Abbie: think it's just so natural. I just read a book on like, you know, don't look back and it's, it's natural to do this and, but we can't stay in that place.
It, we have to try and work through that to be expected of what's to come and we can't stay going to change. And there's a grief process that longingly looking in the past because we are ever growing, ever evolving creatures and our bodies are, we have to go through in order to process this and we almost need to grieve a couple of things.
We need to grieve our previous body, the previous season that we're, we were in. And we need to also grieve the, like, idealized version of ourselves. That when we're, when we were like dieting and striving for thinness, like that version of ourselves that we were never, ever going to be able to attain if at all, like a healthy way or unhealthy way, like we're just never going to be able to attain and sustain.
So we almost need to grieve that version of ourselves too, which is really hard, like to grieve and to fully like let go of the process of striving for a thinner version of ourselves. Like that's. It is a loss because so many people have been doing that and making that kind of like their life's journey and their efforts and their habits every single day with that goal in mind for years or
Yup. That was me. For years. It's really hard to let that go. And I had, so I had done that, you know, I had done the grieving, I had done the acceptance and love towards myself. And releasing that was amazing. And so last year, I probably felt the best I ever have as far as in my body and my skin. So to go from that and then get pregnant, which is funny, cause you feel great about yourself, right?
You're super confident. So I ended up pregnant. And. You know, allowing myself to be like, you know what, that's okay too. Like, it's all right. Allowing that change to happen and it'd be a chapter and don't get so stuck on, well, what if I don't lose the weight or, you know, what if, I don't know, anything that could happen.
It's just that I'm finding like being present and slowing down is just such a big importance to me now. And I know when I have a baby coming to this world, it's going to be even more important for me to slow down. And. Allowing that I think is just so important because the thing that, I mean, I struggle with anxiety and depression.
And so like, when you think about, when you're feeling depressed, a lot of times it's because you're stuck in the past, your, your thoughts are stuck in the past. And when you're feeling anxious and worried a lot of times it's because your thoughts are stuck in the future. So you're stuck on the what ifs.
So there's, there's the two different thoughts of things. And the truth is God wants us to live in the present. Like, yes, I, I am constantly bringing, being brought back to the point of like, no, you need to be here. It's literally what my tattoo says. You need to be here. And the more that I do that, the more I'm able to release anxiety about the future of things I don't know.
And then also release, you know, any kind of sadness or depression about, you know, what I felt like I should have been, or things in the past, or things, goals that I didn't reach in time by the time you're a certain age, or by the time you have kids. Like, that pressure is so unnecessary and it's not going to make you fully be able to be Present with yourself, with your body, with your life, with other relationships.
And so it's been a huge lesson for me, a good reminder for me to go through this experience for sure.
Abbie: Wow. What a beautiful example you're setting for your future child, son or daughter, like you doing this work is setting them up for such a strong foundation of body confidence, a good relationship with food and exercise.
Like. This is really hard work to go through. And yes, we're doing it for us, but now like you have this legacy, it's bigger that you're gonna be able to pass this on. Yeah, it's bigger. Oh, I'm just so happy. What are some of the affirmations that have been the most effective
Jordan: for you? Oh man, I got a whole list.
So I, so a lot of the things that I struggled with when it came to, you know, this change in my body was definitely.
Looking in the mirror and feeling like I'm, I, it's changing every single day and struggling with that. This idea of like, you're, there's this weird pressure. It's like, Oh, you don't want to gain weight too fast. And, you know, is that, is that decision? Like, I get myself weighed every time I go to the doctor.
Right. And that used to be a trigger for me for now. It's just now it's a data point. Like, it doesn't bother me. Right. If you are a woman where that is a thing for you, just tell them not to say it out loud and step on the scale backwards. But you do still want to be weighed during pregnancy. That is very important.
But you don't need to know about it. But basically I had different ones that were about trusting my body. So one of the ones that I love was I am powerful, loving, and creative being. I trust my body. I, my baby is safe and loved. A lot of people experience anxiety when they're going through this, like, especially in the beginning when you're pregnant, as well as even after having a baby.
Another one that was instead of fighting my changing body, I welcome it with gratitude. It's supporting. and nourishing my baby. I let go of comparison and embrace my own unique journey. I've broken up with comparison multiple times in my life when it came to my body, when it came to my business.
But when you're pregnant, you know, maybe you have an idea of what you feel like you should look like or your belly should look like. It's really easy to compare your pregnancies to other people's. And so reminding yourself like this is your own unique journey, your pregnancy journey or whatever journey you're on and releasing that judgment, releasing that comparison.
So those are probably like really big ones that helped me that I speak into my body and speak into my baby. Cause the thing that also hit me, you talked about this being bigger than you is like, at this point with this baby being inside me, like they can feel everything I can feel. And that doesn't mean I want to hold back my feelings.
I had this weird, I actually haven't said this out loud. I had this weird. Vision and thought. And I was like, what if like everything that my baby would experience on this earth, like all of those feelings and emotions, like I had to have them within while they're within my womb now, like I needed to have, you know, joy and happiness and laughter, but also maybe sadness and fear.
Like all of those things are important. They're a part of the whole. And so I allow myself to feel those things and remind myself that like it, it goes beyond me now. And it's helped me prioritize. My healing in a way that even previously it didn't before. Cause I'm realizing like I've talked about breaking generational, you know, trauma and body image and mindset and all this stuff that I'm working through.
But now it's like, no, this is happening. There's a reason that this baby's with you now, and I'm going to approach it in a loving way. And. It doesn't mean that I've lost a part of myself. Like, that was a thing a lot of people have told me. Like, it's like, I wasn't, I didn't feel complete until I had a baby.
And I think you can be a woman without ever having a child just for the record. I think you can be fully complete without all of that. But I see it as a level of expansion within myself where I'm expanding who I am in order to hold space for something that's even bigger than me right now. Wow.
Abbie: Oh, that just gave me chills and made me emotional like that.
Jordan: We're both really emotional. We're very hormonal at the moment. We're both very hormonal right now. Y'all, I
Abbie: do not normally record podcasts in menstrual phase or luteal phase, but here we are. The struggle is serious as well. But we're feeling our feels and you have to, you have to feel this. And I feel like taking that one step further.
You feeling that full range of emotion you're showing. I keep wanting to say son, because I feel like Kay is manifesting.
Jordan: Kay thinks Kay thinks she knows. So it's fine. But son
Abbie: or daughter, like you are manifesting for your child. Like not manifesting. You are showing your child that you can have this full range of emotion and be safe.
Like, it's okay. It's okay to feel. And like, I, I have you, I have you like, You know, enveloped, like I have you safe and you know, I'm kind of, I'm cradling you right now and everything's okay. And that is just so good. Yeah, yeah. How have you felt with your relationship with food and eating?
Like I know, especially first trimester, basically as a dietitian, we just recommend whatever food you can get down do that. Don't, don't worry about like trying to optimize, but how has your eating changed? Anything like to note there?
Jordan: Yeah. So that's, that's huge. Again, I've helped clients with this before.
Right. And we're talking through like, they're nauseous. I was trying to figure out like what they could keep down. And, you know, when you're in it, it's a whole different thing. Like I, Honestly, like, thank God for my prenatals because I was eating whatever I could keep down and I also was just allowing myself to, if I wanted like pizza pockets for breakfast or whatever they call it, yeah, pizza pockets for breakfast, I was eating them for breakfast.
One thing that helped me though, because I had already worked, which you help a lot of your clients do this with my relationship with food and like binging. And I have allowed myself to these kinds of foods in the past. I didn't feel like I was ever. Overeating to where I felt sick in that way. The only nausea was coming from like the hormone stuff.
But so like that was really good because even though I wasn't eating, like I couldn't eat vegetables for like three months or like at least 12 weeks, I wasn't eating vegetables. I thank God for my prenatals, my probiotics and my greens. Cause like that was all helping me. But yeah, I was just kind of allowing myself to like.
be without, without guilt. So the food guilt wasn't there. And then the good thing about releasing that guilt is in the past when I was eating those foods that were more triggering for me, it was like, I had to eat the entire tub of ice cream. I had to eat the entire of this, that and the other, because it was like, I felt like I had to start over tomorrow, right?
I had to start fresh and there was so much guilt associated with it. And this time around there wasn't. So I was very lucky, lucky that I had done that healing previously. And so I. Let myself like having my doctor say like, you know, this is about surviving in the first trimester. That is so dang true.
Like I was eating it throughout the entire day. I brought crackers with me in bed. Like my husband will wake up to me eating in the middle of the night because it was the only way I could like not not throw up. Yeah. So, so that was something where I'm like, I'm just going to keep listening to my body.
And so I feel like I'd already learned to do that, but it's like, I'm doing it on a whole different level. Cause these cues are very different. I had to learn with those cues and lean into it. And then in my second trimester I was at the point where I was able to shift into some of these other foods.
So I was able to think like, what's going to make me feel. Really good long term, what's going to nourish me, fulfill me. And it's like, I was a great mixture of all those things. And so I have my clients do audits with their life where they audit like their food, they're auditing their day and all of that.
And so I talked to them about doing them quarterly. I'm doing them each trimester. So the beginning, like after I've gone in the trimester for a couple of weeks and kind of feel out how my energy is my cravings where like, I feel like I can put out with work kind of like how you do with your With tracking your cycle, it's like seeing like, okay, what energy cycle am I in?
How am I feeling? What foods are going to serve me? And you can look up these things too, but I honestly have been leaning more into like my intuition with that and it has felt really good and everything has been very positive coming back from a health perspective and I'm not worried about like the weight gain or anything like that because I'm feeling very like connected to my even more so than I was previously.
Abbie: And that's just so motivating. I think for people listening that aren't pregnant and are in that season to heal their relationship with food so that it that's not negatively impacting you when you are praying because there's so many other things that you have to worry about. So If you can keep pizza rolls in, in
Jordan: your freezer and
Abbie: not feel guilt or shame when you actually do eat those for breakfast, eat them at all.
And then eat them for breakfast. Like that's, there's also two different things, you know, we got to release all of that, you know, the guilt, shame, and just the societal pressure to like only eat breakfast foods or breakfast. Yesterday I had a turkey sandwich for breakfast. I hate breakfast food and I was like, I really want a turkey sandwich.
That's what I wanted. Boom. That's what I had. And it was delicious. It was either that or I wasn't going to eat breakfast at all. So I'm like, it's better for me to eat
Jordan: something and nourish myself. Yeah. And a lot of these food rules are just made up to like a lot of them were just putting so much pressure on them that they have to look a certain way or we see how people are showing their full day of eating, which I hate those, but like showing all those things and it's like.
That, like you, if you can instead focus on being more connected to yourself, to your body, to what you need, it's going to make it so much easier to release any kind of pressure because people will judge you even when, especially when you're pregnant, like people based on what I'm eating or telling me whether I'm having a boy or girl, how I'm caring, they're telling me whether I'm waiting, we're waiting because I want to be surprised and be motivated during labor.
And we're so excited, but it's just funny how people are putting their opinions and things on it. But like, by preparing myself. Previously of realizing like most of the time people's like we were saying like you were saying their opinions are a lot of times projections of whether it's their own insecurities or just their own experience and framing of life like it's not about me.
And so it allows me to shake it off a little easier in the beginning when I was super hormonal trimester first trimester. I was not shaking stuff off. I was getting very, very upset, but I've gotten to this point. Again, second trimester feels like a breeze, so we'll see where I'm at a few weeks from now.
But, you know, being able to listen to my body in this moment and, and know that, like, what I'm doing for myself is the right thing for me, even if someone else doesn't agree with it, that's okay.
Abbie: Hmm. Yes, exactly. Because like you said, other people's opinions are just their projections. Are there other things, like knowing what you know now, being pregnant this far along in pregnancy, we'll have to have you come on again once you're postpartum or even after that.
Jordan: Oh girl.
Abbie: Every trimester a little check in. But anything that you would recommend that people maybe like work through before or heal before to better prepare for this season?
Jordan: That's a great question. I think if you can focus on Releasing your attachment to other people's opinions the more that you do that, the easier it's going to be for you to align with your intuition and what's best for you, because I'm sure a lot of you listening who aren't pregnant right now, maybe you have a weird timeline in your head of like, I feel like I have to, you know, get married and get pregnant and do this things like in this many years because there's the biological clock is ticking and blah, blah, blah.
And all of these like weird pressures around us. And so if instead you can release it and know like God's timing's always right, like. I'm where I'm supposed to be. And there's probably a lesson to be learned in this chapter, even if I'm not in the chapter that I feel like I would be at at this point in my life.
So that really helps being present slowing down and letting go of other people's opinions about like your decisions in life and knowing, like, I'm just going to keep leaning into what feels good for me. If you haven't done any kind of work when it comes to your relationship with your body and like.
Self care in the form of, you know, shadow work. And what I mean by that is looking at the parts of you that maybe you're afraid of looking into or things that those thought spirals that can still come up for you when you do try on a specific outfit or you go shopping or you go to a restaurant. Or someone does say something rude to you about your body or about your life.
Like if you can work through some of those triggers for you instead of avoiding those triggers, which can be very easy of like, okay, this is triggering. I need to avoid it in one chapter. That might be okay to just walk away from it. But I do think that if you really want to work on it, you need to kind of face those and be like, why is that coming up for me?
Why am I triggered by this, this girl's comment? Why am I triggered? by like my family when I go home for, for the holidays. Why am I triggered when I'm scrolling through social media and comparing, like when you start to look at it as a lens to help you learn more about yourself, it's just as such, it's a more full way to embrace yourself.
Instead of seeing like, this is where I'm inadequate. This is where I don't match up. You're like, no, this is where I can learn and grow. And that kind of approach has been more. for me throughout my life and it's helped me release thinking like I'm either good or bad or I'm behind or ahead or whatever, like it's no longer black and white.
It's just gray and getting alone, getting to know myself more and more. Yeah.
Abbie: Oh, that's all so good. And I'm sure you've had to rework through all of these things now that you're pregnant and almost like stop yourself mid thought and be like, okay. Yep. Like you're, I'm triggered by something like, let's, you know, figure out like why that is or let's quickly reframe that.
Let's do an affirmation. So what does that look for you like during the day? Cause you're also trying to work at the same time. You're a boss, babe. Like you teach fitness classes, like you just do all the things. So like, what does that look like for you? Like a typical day right now?
Jordan: So right now I have shifted kind of my morning routine to be a little bit slower.
So I was joking with you about me always being in luteal phase right now. It kind of does feel like that, like you need to allow yourself space to slow down a little bit and I'm giving myself more rest. I'm giving myself permission to take naps. But something that helps me is like. Having a morning routine that just feels like it's some form of self care.
So that's been really good for me. Another thing that feels good is like anything that makes me feel like me. So if you think about like things that make you feel grounded. So for me, it's going on a walk in the morning listening to music or a podcast. That feels really good. A big thing when it comes to motherhood has been community.
So I've been talking to a lot more moms and not like, Hey, tell me your birth story. Cause like, I don't need that kind of triggering right now, but I do want to know, like, yeah, but I do want to know, you know, like Kay is a great, we brought up Mrs. Kay Hillman on Instagram. We brought up her a lot because like.
I relate so hard to how she started her business, has kids, has gone through pregnancy and so being able to talk to her about these things and get her feedback and, and not hold it all in. Cause I, I do think like previous generations, like our mothers and grandmothers, they didn't really talk about birth.
I mean, heck, their partners weren't even in the birth room with them. It was just like such a crazy concept to where my goal with this pregnancy is to, share the messy middle and be open and be honest and that honestly helps me throughout the process of all this Wow, so good.
Abbie: Yeah Are there other things that you want to share about this journey that you've picked up that have been helpful or insightful?
Jordan: Yeah, Hmm Let's see to someone who's not pregnant or to someone who is maybe both. Okay. Yeah. So if you're, if you are thinking about like, like, I think I want to have kids one day, I think I want to be pregnant. Like some things have definitely been helpful is like your own, your own healing journey.
And so finding that and really focusing on like your self care your mindset and anything that's kind of come up for you in the past. And then if you are pregnant, I think. Again, reaching out to people, speaking up as much as you can. And for me, what's just, it's really helped me to,
I think it's really just helped me to start from scratch. So I basically didn't put so much pressure on myself. Like, Hey, you're a coach and you're a confidence coach. Like you should be able to have this all figured out. I instead was like, Hey, okay. If I was talking to my client right now. So if you guys are listening, like if you were talking to your best friend right now, like how would you.
support them? What would you tell them to do? What advice would you give them? Or what would you, if you wouldn't want to take them on a girl date, like where would you take them? And so little things like that have really helped me. So basically I'm going through my Body Confident Blueprint course. So I'm going through the entire foundation again and auditing my life and, and doing these different routine structures and I'm allowing it to look different in each season.
And so by doing that and releasing the guilt to thinking I'm, I have to show up a certain way. And instead just saying like, this is how I'm going to show up today, because this is like. Where my energy's at. It's just really, really helped me take off this pressure. That's so unnecessary. Yeah.
Abbie: Oh, that's so good.
And I think as someone that's not pregnant right now, literally single as a Pringle um, it's very reassuring that I don't have to arrive at like full body confidence. Also, wait, is that even a thing? No, but
Jordan: for real, no, that
Abbie: we have to like totally fix ourselves before we can get pregnant. before we can enter that season.
So like do what you can before, but know that when you're in this season, there's an opportunity to heal deeply. And if anything, what I'm picking up for you, the more that you can do before to really know yourself, know what works for you, know your pitfalls or triggers and what gives you joy, what makes you feel grounded.
Then you're able to bring that into this season to help you recalibrate and Reground yourself when stuff comes up and when emotions are high and when your body's changing. And I think the more that people lean into cycle syncing, you figure that out. If you can master luteal phase. You will be good for pregnancy.
Jordan: Cycle syncing got me pregnant too quick. Cause I'm like, I was too good at tracking. Yes, girl. I'm like, I love, love, love cycle syncing. I literally like knew my windows and I was like, okay, like we're going to get pregnant in 2023 and like, lo and behold, the second cycle down, we got pregnant of when we were trying whatever.
And I'm like, okay, that was, that was going to take a year, but that's okay. And yeah. And, and there was, it's so funny. There's guilt associated with everything for me in the beginning. Cause I was like, not those typical like TikTok videos where everyone's like, I'm pregnant and I'm crying and I'm so happy, blah, blah, blah.
Like y'all, I literally felt like a teen mom and I'm 30. I felt like a teen mom when I was pregnant. I was like, this is crazy. Like, what am I going to do? And we want to have kids. And I've been with my husband for over five years. Like, it's not like it was out of the blue. And even if it was like, it can still be a beautiful thing, but it's just like, yes.
You know, allow your emotions to be whatever they are in that moment and don't judge yourself so much and like, you know, now I'm so freaking excited, but in the beginning I wasn't. I cried. I was like excited and sad and scared. It was like all the emotions, but if I bottled them up instead of feeling them, I just don't think that I would be able to feel this hard now that I'm excited because I didn't allow those other emotions to come through.
And so I'm no longer going to block that up. Yeah, yeah,
Abbie: that's so good. Honestly. And that was the takeaway of the book that I read about it. Like the don't look back book about lots wife was if you are just so living in the past, always turning around, looking back longingly, you miss out on all of the gifts and the joys and just the amazing future that's promised to you if you Turn your head forward.
And if you're like you said, if you're so living in the future and you're not enough in the present, then you miss out on the joy of this moment and the joy of this of the season. And I think if we are just constantly comparing ourselves, you know, wanting the future, longing for the past. We're rejecting where we are right now.
We're rejecting the experiences that we've lived through, good and bad. And you're rejecting who you are. And this is all we
Jordan: have. Mm hmm. All we have is now. And that took me a long time to figure that out because we're taught to like, dream about the future, which there's nothing wrong with having big dreams.
And we're, you know, it's okay to like, Reflect on the past, but it's, it's getting stuck there. That can be really hard. And so what helped me, you were talking about books the power of now by Eckhart Tolle absolutely changed my life. It was one of the best books that helped with my anxiety. It helped with my depression and it really brought me back into the present moment.
And so I cannot recommend that book enough. It was really, really great for me. I've read that a year ago. And now coming a year later, I'm pregnant. And if I had not read that book, I think it would have been really hard for me to focus because there is so much. New and unknown coming in the future.
And you are not the only person that I know that has read that book. I've read it, but you're not the only person I know that has read that book, had like a profound life changing experience, and then has gotten a tattoo with similar themes to that book. Like it's so just be prepared for your next tattoo.
Jordan: you read this book, yeah, I have to meet you. Like my tattoos are growing and they're not stopping after me becoming a mom. So yeah, it'll be, it'll be continued. We're here for
Abbie: it. We are here for it. Amazing. So we always end our interviews with the same question to every guest. You probably remember this from last time, but what is one thing you are going to do this week for yourself personally?
Maybe you and baby to make your week better.
Jordan: Well, I think the biggest thing for me right now is organization. So we have, we are moving at the end of the month. So in less than four weeks and then we're moving in and then we're basically going to be figuring out. Living life with a baby and giving birth. So I think the biggest thing is going to be just like.
Chipping away at those things because like my to do list has never been longer. It's wild. So instead just allowing myself to just take things one day at a time and just slowly chip away. So doing that and staying focused in the present, just like we were talking on is really where, where I'm at right now with being better.
Abbie: Amazing. I love that. I love that. All right. Jago, I love you so much. I will chat with you soon.
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