BABB EP 62
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[00:00:00] Will we empower you to make evidence based, sustainable, and transformative changes for your health, leading to a more vibrant and fulfilling life? I'm your host, Abbey Stasier, a non diet registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, and master's graduate from Columbia University. I believe that we can't make a lasting or meaningful change single handedly.
So I'm so happy that you're here so that together you can see that a diet free, sustainable, healthy lifestyle is possible and you can leverage that to live a better life. And remember my disclaimer, this podcast is meant to give you general information and it's not meant to substitute or replace medical advice, a diagnosis, or service treatment.[00:01:00]
Abbie: Hello, hello, y'all.. Welcome back to the be about being better podcast. I am so excited to have my friend Jordan Gomez or Jago for short, come back on the podcast. She came on several episodes ago. Obviously we're going to link this up in the show notes to talk about how to feel good naked. She is a confidence coach.
She does this for a living and she has helped me and so many other women feel comfortable and confident in their own skin. So I'm really excited to have her much. Come back on because now she is pregnant. So lay girl, but she's going through a lot of body changes. And she, we had a conversation her and I, like do a lot of co working together just as entrepreneurs.
And normally we co work too with our friend Kay Hillman. Kay has also been on the podcast. She came on to talk about how to elevate your face. We'll also link up that episode in the show notes that y'all can connect with Kay, but the three of us are really close and it's. Funny because in the episode K gets several honorable mentions.
So I needed to like remind y'all who [00:02:00] K is too. But anyway, so the three of us do a lot of coworking together as entrepreneurs and Jago had said, she's like, look, like I thought I did, you know, a lot of healing with my body before I got pregnant, but. As soon as I got pregnant, it was like, Whoa, like I actually need to start from scratch.
And I need to go through the curriculum that I teach my clients and reteach myself all of these things. And really just start from the beginning with my body confidence, because this is impacting me more than, than I thought it would. So that's why I wanted to bring her on today, because I know that so many of you are wanting to start a family and get pregnant in the future.
And you're nervous about your body changing and what that's going to mean. And are there things that you could be doing now to best prepare? your mind, your body, your spirit to go into that season. And then once you're in that season, what can you do? And that's, you know, what Jago speaks to some things before and stuff [00:03:00] that you can do during it.
I'll definitely link to her podcast as well. She mentions in the episode that she has a pregnancy affirmations episode that she recent released. So you can head to her show and listen to that. If that is applicable for you in this. Season. And I also have linked up in the show notes, her hot girl healing guide.
Cause she mentions that too. And just, you know, her hot girl healing journey. So we'll definitely link all of that up in the show notes and our previous episode where she came on and I'm really excited for you to dive into this. And I hope that this episode leaves you feeling more empowered, more confident in yourself, and it gives you more tools in your toolbox to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.
See in the interview.
Y'all, this is about to be an incredible, a fire episode. This is one of my favorite interviews thus far with one of my very best friends, Sarah Harkin. A lot of, you know, her from her old podcast, her vibe is pretty. And her and I have just [00:04:00] done a lot of collabs in the past and she's just absolutely incredible.
And it's a long episode. So thank you all for being here and listening, but there is just so much value and she. She is competent and is able to speak to so many different areas, her own health journey. She's getting married. So she talks about that and healing her relationship with food and her body. She struggled with binge eating.
How has she healed from that? How does she feel walking into this wedding season? But she does so much work with, embodiment practices and energetics and breathwork and feminine energy and, yeah, just like a lot with energetics. So we talked about that and manifestation and money. And we haven't talked a lot about money on the show.
I hope that will be helpful for you all. And she does a lot of life coaching as well. So we talked about relationships and she's a very spiritual, faithful person. So we talked a lot about faith and you'll see that when the interview starts, it's so chaotic. I'm So sorry about [00:05:00] that, y'all.
It's so chaotic, but her and I were talking. Those are like best friends. We're talking before the interview before I hit record and just catching up a little bit. And she was like, AB, you got to start the recording because this stuff is good. Like people need to hear this. It's Oh, okay.
You're right. You're right. So we're like mid convo when we start. talking. So I'm sorry. That's so chaotic. We were talking about the Bible and how breaking away from diet culture is biblical. So just know like it starts a little bit chaotic, but but it'll make sense when you keep diving into the episode.
Sarah and I met to make things make sense because we didn't really spend any time doing an intro when the interview started because we were just catching up and then just started hitting record. We met, oh wow, like over five years ago now at this point, we started our businesses around the same time and we were working with the same business coach.
And this business coach was very much in his masculine. He was a guy, so like it makes sense, but he was just so about the money and hustle hustle, and like work as many hours as you can. And no [00:06:00] rest, no balance. And we just like completely burnt out and energetically, physically, mentally, and emotionally just were like beaten to the ground.
And both of our businesses, like we're really hurt from that. We needed to do some healing and rebuilding. So we have both leaned into more feminine energy and a ballot, a better balance between masculine and feminine energy with running our businesses. She's just so great. And she started her business with a lot of.
Like more nutrition, health coaching, but now has gotten more into life coaching. She is just such a light so much wisdom, very articulate. Like y'all are going to love this episode and get so much value. So thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing this episode with other people and I'll see you in the interview.
Okay, so in Colossians chapter two, I feel because Zach is he reads the Bible a lot too, so I feel like he would appreciate this as well.
Okay. So it says since you died with Christ to the [00:07:00] elemental spiritual forces of the world, meaning like. When we die to ourselves and then are born again with Christ, why, as though you still belong to the world, do you submit to its rules? Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch all of these food rules that we have.
These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Meaning, this is not from God, this is all man made. Such regulations, indeed, have an appearance of wisdom. Which is so true. Like some of these like food rules and things in diet culture do have an appearance of wisdom.
Oh, if you eat fat, you're going to get fat. Even though we know that's not true. A lot of people can like, Oh yeah, that seems like it makes sense, even though it doesn't. Okay. So have an appearance of wisdom with their self imposed worship and their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.
Like for me, that is exactly the restrict binge guilt cycle in the Bible. And it's saying the more that you are [00:08:00] restricting and like living by these food rules that are man made, not from God, like God simply did not tell you to do this, it's leading to a harsh treatment of the body restricting, restricting, and that's lacking that sensual indulgence, that gluttony, which that is.
Like a sin to be like overdoing that. But that's what happens when you're restraining and restricting so much. Of course, you're going to overindulge because we always want what we can't have. The restrictions always lead to the
Sarah Jean: binges. Yeah. And it's also reminding me of cause I'm thinking the opposite of restricting, which you're right.
The restricting leads to the binging. But what I'm thinking about is like these rules. Okay. Let's talk about the freaking food pyramid, for example, that has what, like dairy and cheese. And these things are good for you. And you need to eat more of them. You need to eat more meat. Zach and I just got done watching live to a hundred on Netflix.
Have you seen it yet? No, I need to see that. It is so good. But one of the themes in Live to 100, they eat meat, but they don't, it's not their number one thing. It's [00:09:00] like fruits and vegetables, and then again, this is a conversation Zach and I have all the time.
It's of course, God gave us everything that we need to be healthy here. Like fruits, vegetables, they grow from the ground. It's it's, I grew a garden this past summer and I'm like, this is so magical. It's just so beautiful to watch a seed turned into fruits and vegetables that nourish my body.
But anyway, so going back to the food pyramid, it's there's these rules that the government implemented. That's cheese and meat and dairy and I think they even have like I don't know like the last food pyramid I saw I'm like what and It's like those are the rules too that like we're taught like oh follow these rules like but you're again They're man made rules, but then these rules and not even just the rules But it's like the idea in general in society is like treat yourself or oh, whatever like I can eat Fast foods.
And I can eat these processed foods because the FDA approved them. So if these foods in the store, in the aisles, if the cereal is FDA approved for children, [00:10:00] then it must be okay. But it's no, those are man made ideas, man made approvals. Like the FDA in itself, I don't know if I'm allowed to be talking about this or like this, the FDA itself is like these rules that are man made that do not align with treating your body like a temple.
Because again, like I was telling you a little bit ago, it's like God's greatest creation, the earth and our bodies, our human bodies. So why aren't we treating them like the temples that they are? Earth included.
Abbie: Yeah. And I also think though, too, with that I think the food rules are definitely man made and something to take caution with because that leads to a harsh treatment of the body.
But also God has created the technology where we can have convenience foods now. Yes, we should be. Eating as many whole fresh foods as we can, and with that, there are so many people on earth that need to rely on convenience foods, and we don't want to shame ourselves or feel bad for choosing those when we need to, but is that the only thing that [00:11:00] we're.
Eating and are we overindulging on those foods and are we bringing a lot of shame because shame really means you are wrong, not that like you just did something wrong. And that's not from God either. So we shouldn't be shaming ourselves for our food choices, because that's not what's intended for us.
So yeah, I think there's definitely a balance and I think people really struggle with balance with nutrition and when we have so much morality tied to food, like these foods are bad and we shouldn't be in that. I'm a bad person. I'm a slovenly person. I'm a gross person for eating these more convenience process foods.
That just leads us to want to restrict them and then overindulge them. And then that's not treating our body like a temple either.
Sarah Jean: I think shaming. Absolutely not. Awareness and questioning and getting curious about what's in the food. Absolutely. It's like the awareness is the curiosity because I see people like who have the resources, who have the knowledge, who have or [00:12:00] have everything they need to pay attention to what's in their food, but they choose not to.
Because they don't think it's a big deal.
Abbie: Yeah, they might not realize how much it's affecting them, too. Yeah. And I think it depends, too, on, like, how if you are only eating convenience processed foods, that's really all your body knows. I can't tell you how many clients will start to... Meal prep, even if it's just frozen vegetables that they're putting in the microwave, like it's the same nutritional value as a fresh vegetable.
But and technically that's considered process, but it's not ultra process where it's being added with a bunch of stuff and it has a bunch of chemicals, but it's just. vegetables that are frozen, like if you start to have those things and more produce, you'll realize how much mental clarity you have and how much more natural energy you have.
And it's so interesting to hear clients say Oh my gosh, like I forgot how sweet fruit tastes. Because I've just either haven't been enjoying it or I've just been having like orange juice or just I haven't had any [00:13:00] fruit at all. But wow, when I really sit and savor fruit, like how sweet it really is.
So yeah, I think we almost don't know what we're missing out on. And so that's why we need a balance too. And okay. Also with that, intuitive eating. I think people assume that it's just like this free for all with nutrition and all foods fit and blah, blah. It's just an excuse to eat junk food all the time.
But if you are really in tune with your body's cues and in tune with what your temple is calling for, you are going to want something cold with a crunch fruit vegetable because our bodies are so smart. Yeah. God made them that way. Our bodies will start to crave things that we're missing. Those like nutritional deficiencies.
Think about when you get home from a trip and you're traveling or you were traveling, you're just so exhausted. Oh my God. I just ate and drank so horribly over the weekend. Like I just was fully indulging in myself. Like totally fine. But now you're like, I need a salad
Sarah Jean: there's a reason why we create those things. This is another really good thing that I always say, like I tell, and especially when I used to really focus on food and body [00:14:00] was talking to all my clients about like the truth that your soul knows exactly what you need. To thrive mentally and physically.
So that connection to that mind body connection, creating that connection to your soul, to your spirit. That's why we don't need food rules because your body. And I'm sure that Abby, you can attest to this, like everybody's bodies are different, so we all need something a little different, but I'm like, our souls wouldn't come into these bodies.
Like God wouldn't send our souls into these bodies with no blueprint. Like our souls have the blueprint. Our spirits have the blueprint for what our human bodies need to thrive in our minds, because we both know that food also affects our minds. And so that's what I always come back to. And I, and that's something that really helped me heal.
My relationship to food in my body is just knowing that wait, my soul is an extension of God. Like it's got infinite wisdom and it knows exactly what I need. So the more I connect to my body, the more I create this mind body connection, the more I drop into my [00:15:00] intuition. Like the healthier I become and on the opposite side, it's like when I'm maybe not connecting to my body and I'm choosing a choice from my mind, my, my soul, my spirit, again, knows how to get me back into a place of feeling aligned.
So I'll give you an example. This literally just happened Monday. I woke up, I was getting lunch with my dad and we, yeah, we were going to get lunch at 11 and I had my coffee, which has like ghee in it and like some fat. So I don't get shaky. So I had my coffee. And then there were, Zach and I got doughnuts over the weekend from this cider mill.
And I was like, Oh, I'll have a doughnut now to tide me over. Cause I know if I eat my normal avo toast, I will not be hungry for lunch. So I had doughnut and coffee and Oh my gosh. I don't think I like, this is the first time in years that all I had in my system was sugar and caffeine by 11 o'clock in my mind is feeling cloudy.
And I like, I'm not thinking straight and I feel weird. And it's okay, this is I understand why this is happening and now what does my body need to get [00:16:00] back into alignment because I have that connection with my spirit. It was like, okay, let's go get something healthy for lunch.
When I got home, it was like lots of water. My body was craving water. My spirit was like, let's rest. So I went outside and I like laid in the sun and just gave my body what it needed to come back to a place of alignment and ended the day with so much like genuine energy. But again, if I didn't have that connection with my soul, with my spirit, I might not have known what I needed.
I might've been like, why am I feeling this way? And why am I feeling so off? And like. Why am I so emotional? Why am I so tired today? And I would have went into this like spiral, but because I have that mind body connection, I'm either again able to come back into alignment. Yes.
Abbie: Oh, that's so good because yes.
You're in tune with your body. And also there's like real physiology with that too. Like your blood sugar was probably low because all you were giving yourself was like a hopped up on caffeine, cortisol rising so much sugar. Like we just crash at that point. And that's when we do feel the brain fog and the fatigue.
So we do need balanced [00:17:00] meals. We do need to nourish ourselves. With more stuff, which it made sense on that day, like we were going to eat more later and wanted to still be hungry for that. That makes sense, but what a cool learning opportunity and what a cool. Realization to be like, wow, like I appreciate the days that I nourish myself differently for that experience.
Like, all right, those couple hours have coming on. I'm going to learn from that. Nothing's a failure. Everything is actually and wow, just such a deep appreciation for how you normally nourish yourself. Yeah,
Sarah Jean: there was something wrong
Abbie: with having the doughnut either,
Sarah Jean: 100%. And it's it's just, okay, yeah, when I have the no food in my system, I can't do sugar and coffee. Like that just doesn't feel good for me. Like next time I have the doughnut, I'll make sure I have like healthy fats first. But this also happened to me in Vegas. You know that I'm on this like sober journey.
Yes. So we did a year's alcohol sober. And, okay, you know this, did I tell you when I drank again and what happened? No. Okay. Give me, give us the tea. So give us the tea. Okay, so we were just doing a year, like Zach and I were [00:18:00] like, let's do a year. Yeah. And so we did a year and we came off of our year, or like our year was done when it was his 30th birthday.
We went to Vegas for the UFC fights. And so I'm like, okay, I'm gonna. Like a couple of drinks and see how I feel. I wasn't a big drinker before, and I just, I don't know, the year sober just sounded like fun for me to do. And I learned a lot. I'm glad I did it. But anyway, I'm like back into it.
Like I'm like sober living forever now because one of the reasons being I had. Okay. So I had a drink at my first drink was at dinner. It was a 5 PM. It was a glass of no espresso martini. It was super good. Enjoyed it. Felt good after. I'm like, great. Had a glass of champagne that night. So two drinks. And then I literally didn't sleep.
Like I'm a good sleeper. Like vacation doesn't matter. I will go, I will fall asleep. I will get good sleep. I did not sleep. And I know the time zones were messed up, but I literally didn't sleep and it sucked. I maybe got two hours tops. And so I'm like, what the heck? Like the only thing that's different is the alcohol.
And then I'm like, oh, [00:19:00] I had that espresso martini. Maybe it's the espresso. So the next day I'm like, okay, whatever. And this was cool too, because I thought I'd be dead exhausted the next day, but I wasn't like, I was actually pretty alive and energized. And I'm like, this is so cool because I do care for my body so deeply.
Like my body is so strong and so resilient that like a night of no sleep, isn't going to rock me. So that was really empowering. So I approached the next day, we went to this day party and I had two drinks at the day party at 11 AM, 11, 12. So really early on in the day and I'm like, there's no way I'm not going to sleep tonight.
Like I haven't gotten sleep in over 24 hours. Like I'm going to pass out tonight. I went to bed from 9 PM to 11 PM. I woke up at 11 and I was up to 3 30 in the morning and then maybe slept for two more hours. And again, this is not me, but during at, when I was like laying there awake that second night, like what the hell is going on?
I heard from so deep within my body from spirit, from my soul, from God, if you will[00:20:00] we are meant to lead a sober life we are meant to continue this sober living. This was not meant to be a one year thing. And it was my body's way of just sending me that sign. Because had I had slept well those two nights.
I might have heard the message, but who knows, it was like in the middle of the night where I'm sleeping and I'm like, what is going on right now that I just heard this deep message from within, and I haven't drank since. Wow. That's so good. Yeah. Again, though, it's that mind body connection, right?
Like I can feel so deeply with my spirit that like, this is the life that I meant to lead and live. And I'm not going to sit here and promise that I'm never going to have a drink again in my life. That's not what I'm saying, but it's I'm leading sober life. Yeah, and it's
Abbie: so empowering and it's not coming from external rules because if you followed those external rules number one How much does the alcohol industry profit off of us drinking like it's just so so insane but Yeah, they profit so much.
It's it's glorified in our society. And that's the, if we're [00:21:00] relying on external rules, that's the thing to do. When you go out to dinner, you get a drink, you get a drink, you meet, if you're dating in New York, like the only thing you do is go get drinks. It was so frustrating. And I don't know how much money you spending with all of that too.
And no one cares what's in your cup except for you, like truly. And yeah, so when you stop relying on those external things and start to be in tune with your inner wisdom, that's where you, that's where you find the wisdom. That's where you find the guidance. If you're not sure exactly what to do with your health, you have to turn inward and you, yes.
And you might need some coaching to figure out
Sarah Jean: how to turn.
Abbie: So do you mind walking us through like your journey? Of disordered eating and your relationship with body and food, because where I see you now, and I've been, you and I have been friends for over five years, which is just so incredible.
And I love you so much. And I have just seen you grow and develop and the life that you live. I know the life that you show on [00:22:00] social media truly is the light, just because I know you as a person is truly is the life that you live offline as well. And it's just so amazing to have. A friend that's so congruent and also someone that's, in the influencer space and the coaching spaces that is congruent with the life that they show online.
Really want to reassure our audience that Sarah, like the bliss that you feel, the peace that you feel is just so genuine and congruent. So how, where was it like where was your life before you got to this place and what has helped you have these morning routines and this kind of inner knowing, and this might be a very loaded question and like long journey, so much journey, but maybe the relationship with food and body, what has helped you the most?
And like, where were you like when things were really bad? What was that like?
Sarah Jean: Yeah. Yeah. The first thing that comes up when you ask them that question is just actually around the time that we met so I Struggled with binge and emotional eating my entire life. I didn't realize it. I didn't realize that it was a problem[00:23:00] Because very on theme for this episode so far.
It's so normalized. It's so normalized It's like that's just what you do. You see it on the movies. You see your mom's and your friends doing It's you're sad, you're stressed. It's fine. Go buy some ice cream. Let's get a pizza, let's get ice cream and let's binge. Let's make all the foods and just like binge in front of the TV.
So it was so normalized that I didn't realize that it was like an eating disorder. And I struggled with it again, my entire life without knowing it. So then here's when it really started to click that Oh, I don't have a great relationship to food in my body. And this is actually something I can overcome is when you and I met.
So I was living in Spain after I graduated college and I was teaching English and I started to have some gut health issues. Like I couldn't eat anything without feeling sick to my stomach and like really bad gut health issues. And I went to London on a like weekend trip and I found this Recipe book from this woman.
Her name's deliciously Ella. She's [00:24:00] still one of my favorite. She's like plant based.
Abbie: Yes. I've listened to her podcast.
Sarah Jean: Yes. She's great. Yes. Love her. So she, so I went to her, I had followed her. I don't know when or why, but I knew she had like a storefront in London. That's where she's from. So I went to it and I grabbed her recipe book just to flip through it.
And I started reading her story and her story was like, I was so sick. I was in and out of hospitals my entire life. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with me. And then somebody randomly suggested I try plant based diet. So I did, and I completely healed myself. I have the chills even telling you guys that her story is awesome.
So I'm like, this is interesting. I've never heard this before. Cause I'm coming from America where what's pushed is meat and protein. And, it was when we were working back with Sterling and it's all of these. Fitness coaches, fitness pros, like big bulky people who are just pushing the protein and protein.
And so I was shook. Whoa, wait, what? She healed her body without meat, without protein and before reading this. little story of hers. I was totally that person that was like, you're going [00:25:00] vegan. You're going vegetarian. Like where are you going to get your protein? Like one of those. And then I read her story and I'm like, Oh damn.
Like I was just put in my place. Okay. So I was intrigued though, because I was really struggling with the gut health at that time. And and I started reading her story, I bought the book, I was so into it. She suggested some other books at the end that I bought immediately and started reading. And this was my intro to holistic health.
So this is when I like went off birth control. I tried veganism, vegetarian for a while. I just started playing around with like different things. And I really started my holistic health journey. So then fast forward, I come home from Spain. And I'm like, My life just turned upside down in the best way. I feel like I've been living under a rock my entire life.
And I feel like everybody around me is living under this rock, so many limiting beliefs about food and body. So I'm like, I'm going to go to school to become a holistic health coach. So that's what I did became a holistic health coach. That's when you and I met, I joined like this program to start a business, be doing holistic health coaching.
And this is when [00:26:00] I. Started to realize that I had like problem with food and my body because I was eating healthy, but I was still binging. And I remember saying this to one of our coaches in that program. I remember sharing this with her and being like, I feel like so out of integrity and like such like a fraud because I'm teaching about healthy living and I do eat healthy.
Like I, everything that I teach online. Is true. I am eating, more whole foods and pure clean foods, and I'm paying attention to ingredients and I'm still binging. It was like bananas and almond butter or like pecans, like just eating them to the point where I'm so full and I feel sick. Yeah. And so that's when I really started to realize I have, and so actually we have a friend, Alicia, who we also met in that program and she was sharing with me. She's yeah, I'm doing this other certification program. I'm about to start it. It's to help you heal your relationship to food in your body and I'm struggling with binge eating and it's going to help me heal that and then teach me how to.
Help others with the same thing. [00:27:00] And I was like, wait, what? Tell me more. What do you mean? Heal your really what do you mean? Vigid? She's Oh, Benji binge and emotional eating. Like it's an eating disorder. And I'm like, what? It was the first time I was hearing this. And she's yeah. And then the hope came in because I was like, Oh, if I have the chills, even saying it, I'm like, if this is an eating disorder, that means I can heal this.
Like what I can, I could be a person who doesn't binge and who doesn't emotionally eat every time I'm stressed or anxious or sad or afraid. And she's yeah. And so that was like, so that was, I would say my lowest point. Maybe not lowest. I think lowest point. I don't even look at the, at that point, but like rock bottom moment with food and body was probably in Spain.
I was like binging pints of Ben and Jerry's at a time. And just like feeling so sick with what I was over consuming. And like also simultaneously, wherever you go, there you are. I was binging Netflix, like hours and hours of Netflix and yeah, it was like a binge. It wasn't just binged emotional eating.
Abbie: Wow. So
Sarah Jean: yeah, that was like my rock bottom moment. And then also my awakening to woe. So I joined that [00:28:00] certification program with Alicia, which was hungry for happiness at the time. Learned how to heal my relationship to food in my body, started teaching other people how to do the same.
And. It's been a journey over the past, what, five ish years now. What's really cool. And I'm sharing this, hoping that if you're listening and you struggle with your relationship to in your body, this just gives you a lot of hope. There were so many times, even as I was working with Sam Skelly and that hungry for happiness program where I'm like, okay, I could see myself like somewhat healing my relationship to food and maybe not binge eating as much.
Maybe not emotional eating as much, but for a long time, I think for maybe that entire program I was working with her, I was like, there will never be a day where I don't do this. This will always be a part of who I am, and even still, and it's, that's not true, you guys I thought that for a long time, I saw these other women healing the relationship to food, I'm like, I just don't think that'll ever be me I'm glad I'm here, I'm glad I'm working on it, but I just don't ever see myself getting to that point, and now, I'm at that point I cannot remember, I can't tell you the last time I binged, I [00:29:00] can't tell you the last time I ate my feels, and emotionally ate, and still to this day, sometimes I blow my mind, I'm like, Holy, like this is my reality.
Like I stop eating when I'm full and that's not to say that here and there. I don't take one too many bites. Like I for sure do, but for the most part, like I stop eating when I'm full and I don't eat my feels anymore. I feel my feels. Which is like where my forte is now in coaching. Like I feel my feels and I'm just in such a beautiful place with my relationship to fit in my body.
And I'm so grateful.
Abbie: Oh, I love this. This gives me chills too. And it's instilling so much hope. And what you said is so real. You don't have to just be binging on Ben and Jerry's ice cream. You could be binging on the quote unquote, healthy foods, the more nutrient dense things. Yeah.
Sarah Jean: So that's why I went from like specializing in food and body to life coaching in general because for me that was my journey. It was like, yes, I struggled with food, but I struggled with Netflix. I would wake up in at nine in the morning and feel so much anxiety that I'd turn on [00:30:00] Netflix and just watch TV all day as I was trying to start my business.
And so it's I and I find that the root of it, whether it's binging on food or binging on Netflix, or binging on social media, the root of it is always, usually. The same thing.
Abbie: Yeah, it is. what are you avoiding? What are you not allowing yourself to feel? Because feelings won't leave you if you don't allow them to come.
Exactly.
Sarah Jean: And if you numb them or suppress them, they just get stuck inside of your body and they get worse. So that's why, like I used to struggle with anxiety. The anxiety turned into chronic anxiety. Why? Because I wasn't feeling the anxiety as we feel we heal. I wasn't feeling it. I was. I was suppressing it.
I was avoiding it. I was numbing it with food, with Netflix, with social media, with toxic relationships, with all these flirtationships that did not serve me. And so the anxiety got pushed down suppressed, and then it turned into chronic. Yeah. And then as I started to learn how to feel my feelings and I, got into like embodiment work and breath work.
I was able to finally feel them and release them, which it was a huge part of my [00:31:00] healing journey.
Abbie: And now you're getting married, prepping for a wedding. After all of this healing, like how has this wedding season been for you now?
Sarah Jean: Yeah. So first thing that comes up and actually. Zach, my fiance he he said something that really brought this through for me. Which is with weddings, like I have the chills already saying it, you often hear, and listen, again, I am not, if this is you, if you've done this, I'm not shaming you. I'm not saying I won't do any of this.
I'm just saying there's this general vibe that, oh, you're getting married. Now you've got to go get your teeth whitened and now you've got to go get Botox and now you've got to go sign up for a year long skincare package and get your skin on point and you've got to, sweat for the wedding and you've got to go on diets.
It's you've got to change your look for your wedding day. That's the vibe is you've got to look a certain way. You've got to look your best. But Zach said something and I'm like, Whoa, why would I want to look different than who I actually am on my wedding day? Like[00:32:00] on my wedding day, I want to be my realest, truest self.
I don't want to be a version of me that I'm not because what often happens too, when it's like, Oh, I'm just focusing on this one day. I want to look really good on this one day. And you look a certain way on the one day. But then what you like let go of all of that and then you go back to who you really are like no I don't want to look Different than who I am on my wedding day.
Is this, does this make sense? Like I want to be my real true self. I want to be the me that everyone knows and loves. I don't want to be a certain way. Now, I don't know. I'm not, I'm also not saying that anything of those things are bad because I would be lying if I. Said that I wasn't going to whiten my teeth because I literally just added by whitening strips on to our board this morning Because I found out there's some like clean pure ones at Walmart that you can get
Abbie: Difference between like teeth whitening and joining a really intense exercise program to try and lose 15 pounds
Sarah Jean: Also, can I just say like in Abby?
I know that you really talk about this a lot, but I've gone wedding dress shopping twice And what do you say? [00:33:00] You say it, it's, it is a quote to you're not supposed to fit into clothes. Like clothes are supposed to fit your body. Yeah. And let me tell you that the wedding industry has done an amazing job at creating so many different flattering styles.
You can find a style with who you are right now that looks and feels good that you feel so freaking beautiful and I have no doubt that
Abbie: honestly, is making me emotional. That's so nice to hear because I just talked on a previous episode that I tried on all my fall clothes. Nothing fit. I was just in a very intense.
Internship treating my body honestly, horribly now we're getting back to get back to a temple. Like I was just really just trying to survive. It really was a tough year and I did the best I could, but my body was holding onto so much stress and inflammation. And it's nice to seeing that starting to release now and not as much stress.
But anyway, I didn't fit into my fall clothes. I was so frustrated. And. Then I went clothes shopping to try and get stuff that could fit. And I'm like, every store has different sizes. Nothing fits me still. And shopping for like normal clothes, shopping for special occasions or being a [00:34:00] guest at a wedding can be so frustrating.
So it's nice to hear that on quote unquote, your most important day, like the most important dress you're arguably ever going to buy that those dresses are just made so much better. And they're made to fit all different body types. Like that just gives me reassurance that they're not like normal clothes.
Sarah Jean: No. Yeah. No they do such a good job at yeah. Helping you find the best dress. That's going to yeah. Make you feel good and make you feel like the beautiful woman that you are. It's interesting. I do need to say, I need to add this in because I want to be super real.
You had mentioned that you were going to, bring this up. And the first time I read your question you're in wedding season. Have you thought about Your body, diet, exercising. My first thought was like, no, I haven't. But then I'm like, that is a lie because there was the words came out of my mouth to Zach, like sweating for the wedding.
And I'm like, Whoa, where did that come from? I have not thought about dieting. I will not sit here and say, I will never have a drink of alcohol again. I can't sit in here and [00:35:00] say that I will never go on a diet again. That is no, for me, I am never again. Like I, I trust my body.
Okay. Also like the nuances, right? You and I both had. got health issues at one point in our life. We both had SIBO at the same time. So if there's ever anything like that, cause we're thinking about babies in the next couple of years. And so I don't know if there's ever anything I need to do for my gut again. Fine. But even when I was on the SIBO diet, I did not. And that's one of my best stories is I didn't follow because I was healing my relationship to food in my body when I was on the SIBO diet.
And so I'm like, I'm not doing this diet a hundred percent. There's no way I did it. Maybe like 65, 70, because I'm like, I'm not doing a strict diet. I refuse. And I still healed SIBO, which is pretty cool. But because it's
Abbie: not about the food, it's always about something deeper. And that's something that you talk about so much.
Yeah. And it's for me, what healed my gut health issues wasn't. The liquid diet I was on, it wasn't the low FODMAP foods. It [00:36:00] was changing my lifestyle around
Sarah Jean: to decrease stress. So yeah, that's what healed me. Yeah. Yeah. About the food. I completely agree. It's so much deeper. So yeah. And even going back to the wedding, I'm like, those words have come out of my mouth, which is interesting, but it's allowed me to explore it, like, why did those words come out of my mouth?
And I think for me, it's more so like just being completely honest. If I had to guess, it's I ordered a wedding dress. And it's non refundable and it's an investment and I've got to fit into that wedding dress and my wedding's not for 11 more months. So I think for me, it's more so just but again, even saying this out loud, it's silly.
It's for me, it was more so maintenance and just making sure that come 11 months, like I can still fit into this dress that I've ordered, but it's again, saying out loud, I'm like, that's so silly because I haven't been on a diet or a strict exercise regimen for the last. three years and my size has not changed.
Because I am such an intuitive eater and I'm not just an intuitive eater, I'm an intuitive mover. Like I don't, I haven't [00:37:00] been a part of a gym in six months. I haven't been a part of any kind of group that I just signed up for yoga two days ago. But again, that was intuitive. Like I, right now, the past couple of years, actually, my body has been in a phase where I don't want intense movement.
I desire walks and walks feel really good for not only my mind, but my body. I desire yoga. Like I desire more natural movement and that's what I've been listening to. And literally my body has not changed. So yeah, I will say that the words came up, but I think it's because it's just so societally ingrained.
But I'm glad we're having the conversation because I'm like, that's silly. I want to look like my real true self on my wedding day. Yeah.
Abbie: Oh, that's so good. Thank you. And that's so great that Zach is affirming that for you too. It just shows that you're really with the right person and that he sees.
Your beauty, your interview, he sees your soul, he knows you. And I think he wants to, as you're walking down the aisle, he wants to see the woman that he's been with for all of these years. And that true version of you.
Sarah Jean: Totally. It is an interesting conversation though, Abby, [00:38:00] because something else that comes up for me is I actually got asked recently.
There's this other, there's this woman that I know she's really struggling with acne right now and she's engaged and she's just. Devastated about the acne she's experiencing and doesn't want to on her wedding day. And that's where I'm like, I can also see that, like it's a both and it's be your real self.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with desiring clear skin or what I like, the way I like to put it is like walk, walking on your natural body frame is how I like to say it because everybody's natural body frame looks different. Do you talk about Arivada at all? Like on, in your, no, we haven't made what it is though.
It's like where there's like the four different, yeah, there's like Vata Pitta Kapha. So it's the oldest healthcare system in the world. There's three body types, Vata, Pitta, Kapha. And actually this is a great thing to bring up because this is actually something that really helped me accept my body. As it is, so basically Vata Pitta Kapha, what it says is every single human on the planet, you're one of the three [00:39:00] body types.
So Vata's are like very tiny and these are the girls that I used to compare myself to. It's the models, it's the girls who they can eat whatever they want and not gain any weight. It's the girls that, and like I've talked to them before, like straight up say I struggle with binge eating. but they are tiny.
And then there's, that's the Vata. And then there's the Pitta. So the Vata is like the flat stomachs. There's the Pitta, which is like what I am. So it's like in the middle, it's like a little bit bigger boned. You gain weight easily. You gain fat easily, but you also lose it quickly and easily. So it's like the middle.
And then there's the Kapha, which is like the bigger boned. People of the world, and there's no changing that if you're a Bata, you're a Bata, you're a Kaffa, you're a Kaffa, there's no changing it. And so learning this, I was like, whoa, okay, I'm a Pitsa I'm not supposed to look like my sister or my best friend.
That's just not my bone structure. And no matter how hard, because for me, when I was really in my binge [00:40:00] emotional eating and working out and dieting days, my vision was always a flat stomach. And abs, like a really flat stomach is what I wanted because that's what I saw some of my friends have in the models and like the girl who ended up dating the guy who I was into.
So that was my desire and then I learned about Ari Veda and I learned like I'm a pizza no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I diet, no matter how hard I exercise, I will just never look like that. So realizing that and having that realization was like very freeing for me. And so going back to what I'm saying, your natural body frame, because some people's natural body frames are vatas, some are pittas and some are kaphas.
And again, no matter what you do or how hard you try, there's no shifting that. So I also see the value, especially with weddings or whatever it just in general, if there's nothing wrong with desiring to clear your skin, there's nothing wrong with desiring to walk on your natural body frame, but it's both and right.
It's like accepting where I'm at now and desiring the [00:41:00] evolution.
Abbie: Yes, and just because you have those desires doesn't mean that you have to take disordered
Sarah Jean: action. No. And that's the thing too, though, you have such a great point with that. Like the disordered action actually usually makes it worse.
Cause I know for me, like seriously, for me, the acne, like the disordered cause, okay. So you guys, so that's like another really big part of my journey and it goes right in with the binge eating and like the dieting that the disordered action, the exercise, the food made my skin worse. Because binge eating, you can just think of the nature of binge eating.
Like you're overeating. For me, it was usually sugar and ice cream and those things were screwing my hormones up. It was making the acne worse. And then when I was depriving myself of things, I was like, missing out on nutrients that I needed for my hormones to be balanced. And actually, this is the one good thing that, because Western medicine did not help me.
When I was struggling with hormone imbalance, Western medicine was not it. Like I had. Doctors, I was missing my period at the same time. So I had really bad acne and I was missing my period for a [00:42:00] year at that point. Wow. And the doctors were like, go back on birth control. There's nothing we can do about it.
You might not have your own kids one day. It was awful. Like really bad. And I will say the one thing that one doctor said to me was like, you need to gain some weight. And I was like, that's interesting. That's weird. I get it now because a woman's body is. Built to reproduce, even if you don't want to, there's nothing wrong with that, but like our bodies are built to reproduce.
And so that was actually valid at that point in time, I did end up gaining some weight and it did help me balance things back out. So the disordered patterns that I had to like, try to change things just made things worse. It wasn't until I healed my relationship to food in my body and accepted myself and started doing this deeper mental and emotional inner work that everything.
Changed and I really started to actually heal.
Abbie: Yes. Oh, that's so good. And my gut health issues were getting worse. I was struggling to heal when I was eating consistent, [00:43:00] inconsistently and I was skipping meals or I was doing intermittent fasting. Part of that is if you were strict, then you will, probably binge or overeat at some point.
But just like the chaotic eating patterns, like my gut was so thrown off and I was having so much bloating. So if someone, there's so many reasons that you can have bloating, but. I would say for most clients, it's not like they have these big, crazy gut health issues. Although I have some clients that do, but I would say for most people, it's they're not eating enough and they're not eating consistently.
So when you're embracing intuitive eating and nourishing yourself, you eat when you're hungry, you stop eating when you're full most times you're going to, and you're just listening to your body. Things are going to regulate out and it's not going to be so chaotic. And then you can just trust. Versus trying and striving and making everything so stressful, like white knuckling your way through your health.
Like it's, I just see you and I've really embraced this too, of just living open handed and not so closed off, but like open handed
Sarah Jean: and yeah, I love that.
Abbie: It's just, it feels so [00:44:00] good and it's helped to just like,
Sarah Jean: Wash the stress off. Another quote that I like to use is what we resist persists.
So what it's basically just. Like putting words to, to the knuckling it's like when you're resisting and you're like efforting and you're trying to force something to change so much resistance, so much anxiety, so much stress is created and what we resist persist. Versus when you just open up and you start to dive inward and connect with your spirit and in your soul and let that part of you guide you and you trust that everything's happening for you, even the hard things, like the resistance leaves and that's when things actually have space to change.
Yeah. Oh, that's so good. And let's talk about the masculine versus the feminine way of doing things. Like the masculine energy is the trying, it's the forcing, it's the efforting, it's the trying to control things. It's the fixing, the masculine's fixing. Whereas the feminine is. It's the being, it's the healing, it's the receiving, it's the trusting, it's surrendering, it's the flowing.
Abbie: So how do [00:45:00] you start to heal your like wounded feminine if you're just like so in your
Sarah Jean: masculine? Again, such a loaded question. I've got an entire course on it, Bethhem Awakening. Come on in.
Abbie: It's so good.
Y'all, I've done the course. It's
Sarah Jean: so good. It's life changing. Thank you. Yeah, like I guess a good place. And again, just to be clear, like wounded masculine energy, it's like the controlling and the doing and the efforting, which I know that it comes out in so many more places than food and body, right?
It comes out in our relationships. It comes out in our careers. It comes out in our relationships to ourselves, like beyond food and body. And yeah, it creates like a lot of stress and anxiety. So the way to start to shift that, yeah. The simplest thing to share here for now would be just start to explore what is wounded masculine and what is divine feminine.
I think that's a really good starting place because, again, it's such a loaded question. There's so much to it. But just really starting to get curious and being like, Oh, I'm living in my wounded masculine. That's what I'm doing. I'm trying to fix things. I'm trying, I'm [00:46:00] forcing, I'm trying to control how I look or how I feel or trying to control others around me.
That's wounded masculine. And so if you feel like you resonate with that, criticizing, need to be right, like struggling to feel, numbing, avoiding, suppressing is all wounded masculine. So if you're struggling with that, just start to look into what is wounded masculine energy? What is divine feminine energy?
What does that even mean? And how could I start to bring my Divine Feminine forth more? Which again, I know that's such a vague answer, but it's so deep. A lot of it comes down to inner child work and like limiting beliefs and our relationships to our souls, our spirits, to the higher power. A lot of it comes down to, so what I found is a lot of the wounded masculine comes from, this is a good piece to bring here, like deep down, every action we take, everything that we say comes from a place of wanting to feel loved.
Wanting to feel safe or wanting to feel happy. So at the end of the day, all humans, that's just all we're trying to do is we're trying to [00:47:00] stay feeling loved, safe, and happy. And so to do that, we develop these habits, these thought patterns over time. That maybe they're not serving us anymore, but they did at one point in our childhood I know we're getting deep here, but we've got to like, start to shift this.
So it's like those wounded masculine, habits of the efforting and the trying and the fixing and the controlling and the numbing and the avoiding, it's actually coming from a good intention place. You think you have to do those things in order to stay feeling safe, happy, or loved. But you don't.
And that's realizing that oh wait, what? I don't have to hate the way that I look anymore. I don't have to try to control my food anymore. I don't have to force myself to work out when I don't want to, realizing that you don't have to do that and leaning into that and trusting that you get to listen to what your body needs versus what somebody else is saying as you start to do that, as you start to follow through, as you realize that you actually don't have to do those things to stay [00:48:00] feeling safe, happy and loved, but the opposite is true.
Once you stop doing those things that don't feel good anymore, and you start to surrender to the divine feminine energy. The intuitive eating, the intuitive movement, the trusting your body over your mind, you start to prove to yourself that, oh, yeah, I don't need to do those things to stay feeling safe, happy, or loved, but actually I feel happier.
I feel even more love flowing through my body. I feel even more safe. In my divine feminine. Yeah. More than you thought was possible. Yeah. 100%. So good. I think that's like the biggest thing with feminine energy. It just awakening my divine feminine showed me how good life can be. Like I never, I wasn't taught that like I can feel this good or I can feel this much pleasure, this much love, this much joy, this much happiness, this much connection.
I just wasn't taught that. I like, we usually aren't.
Abbie: Yeah. Yeah. And as a really busy person, how do you start to have these lush mornings or where would you start to like tap into [00:49:00] your divine feminine? Like we, I feel like I hear you say a lot and I say this too, like getting out of your head into your body, but you have a very lush morning routine, but I know.
Like we also work from home. We have our own businesses. Not everyone has that privilege. So how do you start to get a slice of that divine feminine, having that like lush, like playful morning routine that is just makes you feel like the main character when. You are
Sarah Jean: pressed for time. Yeah. So two things that I want to share first, one being again, going back to what you said, like getting out of your head and into your body.
So it's what little things could you start implementing that get you out of your head and into your body? So going into the morning routine, for example, when somebody is like, Oh my gosh, I'm so busy. I don't have time for morning routine. I'm like, okay, what's one thing that you could implement in your morning that would get you out of your head and into your body, for example.
Not grabbing your phone first thing, because if you wake up in the morning and one of the first things that you do is you grab your phone, you're right into your head, you're thinking, you're in your thinking mind, you're in your [00:50:00] masculine, probably wounded masculine. So if you can just shift that and not, if you, if that's the only thing that you do tomorrow morning or for the next week, you've got a morning routine.
If you just don't grab your phone for the first half an hour, you're going to stay in your body. You're going to stay in how you're feeling and what you're experiencing. You're going to stay in your world, which is like that feminine flow. So that's the first thing that comes up. Or like another thing too, is just again, asking that question what's one thing that you can do in the morning that lights you up?
So maybe it's giving yourself five minutes to sit with your coffee and your journal. Like everybody has, you can find five minutes to do that. You can get five, get a five minutes earlier. So with your coffee and journal or not, maybe it's not even your journal. Like some of my clients just will take their coffees outside.
I actually have. So inward and upward is one of my breathwork and meditation memberships. And in there, there's a five minute coffee meditation and everybody loves it. So like you could throw on the coffee meditation and just sit there with your coffee and listen to it. That's something you can implement to start to get into your body and get into that divine feminine flow.[00:51:00]
So that's the first thing that I have. And then also just what's helped me as an entrepreneur and a fiance and a daughter and a friend, what's really helped me embed this divine feminine into, yeah, my eventful schedule is how I like to explain it as creating masculine containers. So it's like masculine container, feminine flow.
So let me bring an analogy. I'm an analogy queen. I love analogies. So this is actually a channeled analogy. This is my own that I made up one day. What it kind of society has this idea that like the sun is like the masculine energy and the moon is the feminine. So if you think about the sun and the moon, the sun's job is to do meaning it burns, it shines lights on the world and on the moon, but think about it.
The sun shines light on the world and it opens this container. For us to live in and experience life in. So that's your masculine is it creates the container for you to do life in. And then the feminine, which is [00:52:00] represented by the moon is like the being. So the sun is the masculine. It's the doing the moon is the feminine.
It's the being. So if you think about the moon, it's only job is to just be the sun shines light on the moon and it just bees it's full self and it does its job. The moon benefits us in so many ways. Just by being. So that's how I like to look at it in my life is I have this inner masculine that can open up these containers.
And within these containers, I get to just be in my feminine flow. So back to the morning routines, I have this masculine container. And again, this is going to look different for everybody. I am an entrepreneur. I create my own schedule. I do not take calls before 10 a. m. So my mask and container for my morning is usually it's from the time I wake up until about nine ish, because around nine is usually when I eat breakfast and I start to get ready.
So I've got this masculine container carved out. It's every single day I know that I have from the moment I wake up until about 9 a. m. That's my masculine [00:53:00] container and I show up to that container in my feminine flow, meaning I don't have a structure for my morning routine. It's not like I have to meditate every day.
I have to journal every day and I have to do this every day. My morning routine, that's not a checklist. I call it now practice because it's like I wake up and I drop in, what do I need today? What feels good? Would a walk feel good? Would it feel good to sit inside or outside? Would it feel good to grab a breath work session or would it feel better just to drop into my journal or maybe none of the above?
Some days, honestly, I wake up and I write a couple of things out in my journal and I'm feeling so inspired. I'm like, Ooh, what would feel good right now is to get into my workflow and yes. Create a couple of posts before, I start talking to clients and start showing up on calls. So creating a masculine container and then like from there.
Just dropping in and being like what would feel good? What would feel fun? What would feel like pleasure is a really good way to start to integrate the
Abbie: two. Yeah I love that and I feel like that's a variation I think we're like another way to say like you're gonna set the intention But then release to the outcome like I intend to during [00:54:00] this time do my morning routine and us as entrepreneurs We have a longer amount of time to do that.
You might it might only be 30 minutes, 10 minutes, but Hey, that's the time that you have. And then when you show up there, I love these show up in your feminine, be intuitive, turn inward. What is your body calling for that day? And be flexible, live open handed where you're able to like have these different disciplines and practices that you can employ depending on.
How you're feeling that day, like what's going to serve you best. Yeah,
Sarah Jean: exactly.
Abbie: So good. So good. Oh, I love this. Okay. One last thing that I want to ask you about, because on your, you do talk a lot about like money and abundance. And it's something we haven't talked a lot about on the show, but I know that a lot of people do struggle with their finances.
So I'd be curious to, get, maybe a couple of tips on how do you shift from a place of lack or scarcity to a place of abundance and joy in [00:55:00] terms of money
Sarah Jean: energetics. Yeah. Okay. Another loaded question. Also have an entire course on this called Abundance Embodied. Eight weeks of literally this.
I
Abbie: love it. We're linking everything up in the show notes, y'all. Sarah's like absolutely incredible, but that's why if you have so many things that like you specialize in and can help people with, I want to give people a little potpourri of how you can help people. So we're not gonna be able to touch it on everything.
But hey, also, if y'all are listening right now please send me a DM. And if there's an area that you want us to dive deeper in, we can always bring Sarah back on to a deep dive in a certain topic. Yeah, absolutely. It's fine. We had, yeah, go
Sarah Jean: ahead. Okay, let me just give you one piece to, to, and honestly, it's best because if we give too much, it's just too hard to implement.
Yeah. So what I want you guys to take away for the question you just asked around scarcity and abundance and money is we think that if you have more money, you'll feel more abundant. And if you don't have money, you'll feel scarce. But I found that's not true. So I think the first place to start from shifting to [00:56:00] scarcity consciousness into abundance consciousness is realizing that money does not create these energies.
Money is simply an amplifier. So with that, it can be a little scary and disappointing, but at the same time, it can be really empowering. It's this is something I've really been landing lately is like realizing that you're the sole creator of your own reality is, and that like you attract what you are can be so devastating.
Cause it's what I created this, how, but it can also be empowering. Cause it's okay, if I'm the sole creator and I created this, that means that I can get out of it. Like I can lead myself out of it. So I think the biggest thing to realize is money is simply an amplifier. Meaning if you're embodied in a vibration of scarcity.
Money can actually amplify that scarcity. I've experienced it, but I've more so watched it happen. And I learned very early on the truth of this so that I wouldn't be like this. And this is why, and I'm sure you guys are listening, thinking Oh, I know somebody like that. Like you can be a millionaire and still feel scarce.
You can have a lot of money and still be [00:57:00] very like contracting and like scarce and like scared to spend. So there's just so much proof that like money doesn't automatically equal abundance and lack of money does not equal scarcity because I'm not a multimillionaire yet. And I am so embodied in abundance.
We actually just wrapped that course like live. And I was just talking to the girls in there about it. It's you will access deeper and new levels of abundance for the rest of your life. And scarcity is bound to be triggered forever because it's just so deep in our society.
But the point is money does not create that. So scarcity and abundance, our energy is. Inside of our body that we have like the power to access and embody without anything outside of ourselves. So money again, it's an amplifier. So if you are embodied in scarcity and you make more money, it will actually end up amplifying the scarcity.
If you're embodied in abundance and you make more money. It can amplify the abundance that you feel. [00:58:00] So I think that's the first place to start is stop looking at it as Oh, if I just make more money, then I'll feel abundant. That's not it. It's feel abundant now and become more magnetic.
And this is the world again, of feminine energetics. It's, we live in an energetic world. Like we are spiritual beings and human bodies, but like our spiritual beingness is energy. And at the core of even our human body is that look physical and feel physical. are energy pockets. Like you take an atom, what's an atom?
It's like energy pockets. Everything is energy. And we live in a world that like energy attracts like energy. So if you're feeling scarce and you're thinking like, Oh, if I just make more money, then I'll finally feel abundant. You're going to be like running on a hamster wheel your entire life. Because attracts so and I'm not saying that you can't make money while you're embodied in scarcity You can but again, it's not going to create like it's not even the money you want It's the feeling of abundance that you desire and the feeling of abundance that you desire in the but feeling of freedom that you Desire is actually not going to be created by money [00:59:00] As many, I know that some of your minds listening to this are going to want to fight me on this and I understand why, because for so long I resisted this.
I'm like, but no, there's no way if I was a millionaire, like I would totally feel, no, like I've watched it happen so many times. I literally, I can think of a peer off the top of my head. Who is going through this right now? And she's admitting it. She's I'm making more money than ever. And I feel more broke than I ever have actually had a client say.
I said, there's just I have more money in my savings account than I ever have. And I feel scarce. And I'm like, boom, like you needed to experience this so that you can prove to yourself that money does not equal abundance. So if that's true, then let's dive inward. Like where's the scarcity wound and where is it coming from?
And how can we work with it? And how can we heal it and shift it? So that you can feel the abundance you want to feel.
Abbie: So good. And we will have your courses and everything linked up in the show notes, because I know that there are people listening that truly need this.
Sarah Jean: Yeah. So good. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Yeah. Oh, it's empowering. Cause it's you can, you have everything that you need to feel abundant right now. As much as you might resist that, I [01:00:00] promise you, you do you've got an abundant blueprint in you. It goes back to what we were talking about earlier. Like our souls have the blueprint for our utmost health and wellbeing.
Our souls also have the blueprint for everything we wanted to feel like our souls are abundance. Our souls are love. Our souls are freedom. Our souls are light. That's our truth. That's who we really are. So the more you connect with your soul and tap into that, the more you're going to experience.
Those frequencies, it has nothing to do with our feelings are not created outside of us. They're created inside of us and you can give them to people and you can give them to things outside of you, but that's not going to get you very far. If you give your feelings and your emotions to money and to people and to circumstances and opportunities and situations, you're going to be on an up and down roller coaster your entire life.
But the moment you take your power back and you're like, no, I am the sole creator of my feelings and my emotions. And I decide how I feel. And then I let the world respond. That's when you tap into your power as a human being. Which is to be able to create your own reality. Wow,
Abbie: girl. That's [01:01:00] so good. So good.
There's so many of a wisdom bombs dropped. I just love you so much. Oh, okay. To close this out. This is the last question we always ask all of our guests, but what's one thing you're going to do this week personally to make your week better?
Sarah Jean: I love this question. Yeah, honestly, like strengthening my trust with God, with Source, with Universe, with higher power.
I've come very far in trusting the higher power, trusting, God, Source, Universe with my path. And there's just some things that we could have done a whole episode on that I've been facing this week that are bringing deep challenges. And last night I literally wrote in my journal, like, why would.
God make this challenging for me and immediately my soul brought me the answer and it's to strengthen my connection with God, with source, with universe, with my soul, with my spirit, because challenges are a catalyst for growth. And so that's one thing that I'll do to make my week better and I've started implementing it as of, last night and this [01:02:00] morning is just like really surrendering to trust in my divine path deeper than I ever have before.
And manifestation, babe. Yeah. So I think she is actually the first one who said this. It's all over the internet now, but it's fun. It's get de lulu until it becomes tre lulu. Have you seen that? No, I
Abbie: have it, but I love
Sarah Jean: it. So my coach to my current coach right now is always saying get delusional.
And some manifestations of it was like, get to Lulu until it becomes true, meaning get delusional get decide like this wild, amazing thing is happening in your life and just believe it until it becomes your reality. And so I'm really leaning into that too. And that's what I'll do by my week is get to Lulu until it becomes true.
Lulu. And again, it could be a whole podcast episode because. The reason we struggle to get to Lulu as humans, the reason that we struggle to believe in our greatest dreams and desires is because we're afraid of disappointments. Which is, again, like that masculine, feminine wounding. But when we realize oh, it's okay, I can handle this appointment [01:03:00] now.
Yeah, it hurt as a child, but I can feel it now. It frees us up to get to Lulu until it becomes true Lulu, which is where the power of manifestation lies. Oh, that's
Abbie: so good. Okay. So I am really struggling with manifestation. We probably need to do a whole episode. On this, as I'm on my faith walk, what I will say is that trials are promised.
We are going to have obstacles, but what is also promised is that we don't walk through those trials alone. That is always, he's the God in the mountain. He's also the God in the Valley. Like you are not alone going through those trials and God makes everything work together for our good. So there's that, but also, Oh, okay.
I like what you said. That's like dreaming big being diluted, have these big dreams because God can do a measurably more. Then we can ever think or imagine. So don't put God in a box. Don't just assume that God's only going to do and show up how he has shown up. Don't put that on him. Like he can do more than what our little peewee can think or imagine.
So there's that part of it. It's like dream big, pray boldly, do those things. And with that, if [01:04:00] I guess where I'm struggling with manifestation right now is if we are. Trying and like thinking and praying for like our own reality and God's will for our lives is so much better. And because he knows more, he sees the whole timeline.
He's come before us. He's with us now. He's, so he knows how things are going to turn out and he's a good God. So you have to have those foundational beliefs. Like God is a good God. And he has our best interests at heart. He. He sees everything like his ways are sovereign because he has that bird's eye view of everything.
So if we're just like praying, manifesting for our will be done. Yeah. It's we don't know if that's actually. The best way now, God has also given us this gift of free will we can choose to go off on our path and God will make all things work together for good, but it's is what we're actually praying for best for us and what we're trying to manifest is our reality what's best or should maybe our prayer should be God let your will be done because you it's best for me.
And I'm going to trust that [01:05:00] whatever happens again, I'm living open handed. I'm not going to be like trying and praying for what I want. But. Yeah. I'm going to trust that what you have is better for me. So I'm really wrestling with that now because there are things that I want and I desire in my life and I also think that God wants to give, he delights in giving us our desires and with that, but like, where's the line between trying to create my own reality while also knowing that God is sovereign, he has my best interest at heart, he has a plan for me and his ways are
Sarah Jean: better than my ways.
Yeah. Okay. This is so good. And yeah, this could be an episode. Here's my thoughts on this. I hear you say, I'm trying to create my own reality. But when we're trying to create our own reality, we're never doing it alone. It's a co creation with God. So in my opinion, God will never co create anything that wasn't meant for us.
So that's one perspective. But then here's my other piece of it is like, one of my mentors used to say that there's seeds of desire and I'm going to give her credit, Melanie Ann Layer. This is her analogy. There are seeds of desire and we were the chosen host for a reason. So Abby, if you sat here and [01:06:00] told me, here's what I desire, it would look very different than me.
Why? Because your desires were planted in you for a reason. And my desires were planted in me for a reason. So I also see it like if we're desiring it from a heart centered place, not from ego, not from mine, not Oh, I want this because I see other coaches having it, or I see other people doing it. So now I need to have it.
Cause I don't have it and I'm not a good enough coach. That's an egoic desire. But if the desire comes from the heart, if the desire comes from love and joy and the pleasure and the joy and the beauty that I would experience in this desire, I see that as a heart centered desire. I see that as a God given desire.
Here's the other piece of it is there's this book called The Desire Factor. Have you ever heard of it? No. So good. And it talks about how our desires are actually godly and our desires are divine. She actually uses the word divine, but I also see it as like godly and divine, meaning there are some desires that I have some really big desires that I have.
And I'll just give you guys a couple of them. One of them is to travel the [01:07:00] world with. My partner and with my future children. Another one is to, I would love like a house on the lake just sounds so blissful and expansive to me. I have those desires. And then the desire factor talks about how godly those desires are because it's not about the desire.
It's who I have to become in order to be an energetic match to those desires. So what does that mean? Okay. To buy a house in the Lake, your girls need to get to need some more money. And in order to create that money, I am a coach and I am sharing this, beautiful wisdom with the world. I've got to reach not hundreds.
I need to reach thousands. I need to reach hundreds of thousands. And by doing that, I'm going to impact the world in such a beautiful way. So it's not even about the house. It's not even about the travel. It's about who I need to become in order to manifest, in order to be an energetic match. For that level of living.
And in order to do that, I've got to reach and impact and inspire and connect [01:08:00] thousands, hundreds of thousands of women. With their souls, with their spirits, with their essence. So that's what makes it the desires. Does that make sense? Is this landing? Yeah, that
Abbie: definitely makes sense. No, I appreciate you.
I was like working shop, workshopping this because it goes back to co creating with God. If God put that desire in your heart for the house on the lake, you're going to have to make more money to make that happen. God gives us the gifts and abilities to make more money. And there's definitely ways to make.
A quick buck that are not aligned with God. Maybe you're making money in idle and you're, just striving in your own strength or just doing it from an ego driven place. Like when we both started our businesses, when we were in that coaching container, that was just so masculine, everything was just so go hustle.
It's also all about making money and we've totally stripped that away. And now we are both partnering with spirit, partnering with God, co creating this, so like you can be checking in with God, is this the next best step for me to create the impact that will eventually like lead to the financial provision, and that blessing in favor [01:09:00] to eventually lead to this desire.
So you can make sure that you're making the money in a God centered
Sarah Jean: way. And I also think too, like another piece I always bring in is we live in a material world for a reason, like why else would we be here? But then there's a lot of reasons for here, but we're here to enjoy the material realm.
I don't believe that God put us here to struggle with money. And actually there was a sermon once that I listened to that they were talking about how it's sinful to be broke.
And I was like, that's deep. And they were talking about all the things that were, sinful in this realm. But, and I actually think they might've talked about food and body, but they were like, like when you are broke, you are struggling and you literally can't. Be the vessel of love that you desire to be because you're in.
And Melanie also talks about this. She's like, when you are broke, all you think about is money. All you're thinking about is how am I going to pay the bills? It's creating stress. It's creating anxiety. How am I going to get the bills paid? How am I going to get this debt paid off? How am I going to pay the rent?
How am I going to keep the lights on? How am I going to provide for my kids? [01:10:00] Like, how am I going to make more money? How am I going to make more? That's your only focus is how am I going to make more money to just freaking survive and how can you like do the work that you're here and meant to do in the world if you're just thinking about money and struggling with money all the time I know for me when I was in that place.
I was not as heart centered. I was not connecting to my why and my vision and my purpose and my passion. And I wasn't sharing my messages with the world in the way that I am now. I was sharing it from this very masculine place of Oh shit, I need money to survive. So I better do things that are misaligned with my heart and with the way that God wants you to make money.
And I would go from this egoic place to market, to promote, to. Make sales in a way that didn't feel good. And if it doesn't feel good, I know that's not aligned with my soul. It's not aligned with what God wants. So that's my other perspective on it. It's yeah, like we're here to enjoy a material realm as well.
I don't think we'd be in one if we weren't, and God created this material realm for us to enjoy. So desiring and manifesting is. I think it's godly. There's actually a [01:11:00] podcast episode. Maybe I'll send it to you. It's this this preacher who is, it's all about manifestation and she's talking about the biblical perspective of it.
There was, we were at this concert, like a Morgan Wallen concert, and I was with my sister in law who's very Christian. And this guy on, The stage said something like there's a Bible verse. I don't know what it is. Maybe you can think of it. It's something like, if you believe it, it will be yours or God answers your prayers or something like that.
And she commented on it and was like, just like a comment. That's not true. Or not for everyone. Like it does say that in the Bible, but it's he's saying it like it's so easy and I'm like, no, but it is true. Like the most. The thing that's so from the Bible that I'm like, this is literally manifestation is you have to believe without seeing.
Yes. That comes from the Bible, right? That's faith. Origin. It's literally faith. Believing without seeing. Yeah. So manifestation is believing without seeing. And in my perspective, it's yes, believing without seeing is yes, of course, believing in God without having to see, but it's also believing in your highest potential, believing in your dreams and your [01:12:00] desires without having to have evidence because you won't have evidence until it's yours.
But what he had said at the concert, and again, it's he quoted the Bible and my sister in law was yeah, It's whatever it was. It was just like some kind of a remark. And again, she's very Christian, but I'm like, no but it's true. But you have to believe it.
You can't just pray for it and be like, God, send me this. It's a co creation. It's you've got to be like, all right, God, this is what I'm feeling. Like you were just telling me about this, podcast that you're going to create not this one, but the next. And it's It's this desire that you have.
It's this message. And it's like, all right, God, like I'm here to co create this, but you've got to co create it. It's not just please, God, let there be thousands of podcast listeners. It's no, let's co create this together and let's get our full faith belief behind it in order for it to be what we desire it to be.
Abbie: Yes. Because the Bible also talks about how like faith without works is death. You can't just be like believing and having faith. You do have to have aligned action behind that. But you have to keep your eyes locked on God to make sure that you're taking the right action. And I feel like [01:13:00] with that Bible verse that was said at the concert, I think you got to read it in context.
Always got to read everything in context for sure. Because sometimes God too, which I would be curious to like, go back and read that one to get the context. Cause I feel like sometimes when we pray for something too, we always get an answer. It might not be the answer that we want, right?
Sarah Jean: Yes, here
Abbie: it is. Might be no, that's not for you. But I got something, if it's not this, it's something better. Or not yet. Be patient.
Sarah Jean: Yeah, or, my other thing about praying, and this is where I feel like the worlds of spirituality and Christianity come together, is I also do believe that, and I think that this is proven, like energy attracts like energy.
It's like kind of the foundations of the law of attraction, like attracts like. And I think we've all experienced that in our lives at some point. And with praying, I feel like a lot of the times, and this is I guess from experience, because this is what my praying used to look like, was please.
But I'm gripping. It's like the closed hands, it's, I'm gripping because I don't believe it. In my heart, I'm like, please, I'm praying for this. But deep down, I [01:14:00] don't believe that it can be minor. I don't believe that it can happen, and I think there's something to believing it and being embodied in your belief, in your faith.
It's again, it's not, and this is where the energy comes in. If you're praying, but deep down, you don't believe it can be yours, or you're praying, but deep down, you can't believe that it can happen.
Abbie: Yeah. One thing that's really helped me in this situation is because I would always be comparing myself to other people.
And I'd be like, God, I'm praying for this thing. And then I'm seeing other people getting it. That's not fair. Why did they get it? And I don't, I've been praying for this probably longer. Or I'm a good Christian. Why? Which is so wrong. Like all of those thoughts, but God has been so sweet on this walk.
And He showed me in one of my quiet prayer times. I've been spending a lot of time in solitude and silence with God. And he said to me like, Abby, I'm giving you these people in your life that have the things that you desire that you don't have yet as a testimony to show you that it's possible because that helps your belief as well.
Hey, if God did it for them, he can do it for me too. It's been [01:15:00] done once. It can happen to me. I don't know when it's going to happen in God's timing. It's going to happen in his way. And, but sometimes we look to other people and we're comparing and we're like making that mean something about ourselves that we're not enough.
Also, someone else just might be on a different race and that might not be meant for you, but also it can be such a powerful testimony. Like how cool of a reframe could that be for you to be like, Oh, wow. I'm not jealous of them, but that's, God's giving me an example that. It could be possible for me, too,
Sarah Jean: right?
And then even with that, like the energetic realm says, if you're seeing it happen, it's because you're starting to manifest it. If you're seeing it pop up around you, it's because it's getting closer to you. You're drawing it in through your faith, through your belief, through your energy.
And it's a sign that it's coming. But yeah, I agree though with the unique journeys. Like we're all on our own unique timelines for a reason, because if we were all on the exact same timeline, this world would be boring and it wouldn't be unique and it wouldn't work the way that it does. Which is exactly how it's meant [01:16:00] to.
Abbie: Yes. Oh, so good girl. I'm I love this so much. Y'all check out Sarah in the show notes. She's everywhere. I'm mainly on Instagram for you. And but yeah, we'll link up all of your courses in the show notes. And I can attest that Sarah is just such a great teacher. She knows how to do a course.
Being live. With her, I was in inward and upward her breathwork course for a while. And I've talked with so many of you about that. Sarah's just a sleigh. Clearly she's got so many interests in so many ways that she can help you. So check her out and Sarah, thank you so much for
Sarah Jean: being here today.
I love you so much. Having me. This was so lovely. I love you. I love you too. Talk to you later.
Yeah.
Hey y'all, thanks again for listening to the Be About Being Better podcast. I so appreciate you. If this episode made you laugh, smile, think about yourself or your life differently, in any way making your life [01:17:00] better, I empower you to share this show with three people who, just like you, need to hear this message and have this type of transformation in their lives.
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