BABB EP 61
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Abbie: [00:00:00] past, where we empower you to make evidence based, sustainable, and transformative changes for your health, leading to a more vibrant and fulfilling life. I'm your host, Abbey Stasier, a non diet registered dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, and master's graduate from Columbia University. I believe that we can't make a lasting or meaningful change single handedly.
So I'm so happy that you're here so that together you can see that a diet free, sustainable, healthy lifestyle is possible and you can leverage that to live a better life. And remember my disclaimer, this podcast is meant to give you general information and it's not meant to substitute or replace medical advice, a diagnosis, or service treatment.[00:01:00]
Hello. Hello. Y'all. I am so excited for this episode. I love when we do ask Abby episodes partly because this is the healthy holidays edition and I love the holidays, but also whenever there's an opportunity that I can like directly answer y'all's questions, I love to do that. And I just want to give you exactly what you need.
So thank you so much for those who have written in, we had a couple like repeat questions, variations on the same theme. So I just picked a couple out and I think y'all will find a lot of value. In these questions, even if you're not in exactly the same situation, you can kind of tease out what would be most applicable for you knowing your family, your holiday rhythm, the things that the commitments that you have, if you're traveling, if you have people coming to you and your family dynamics.
So thank you all for those who have written in I am really excited to dive in and give you some support and I know we're in fall but we're not quite at the full on holiday season yet, [00:02:00] although I was literally at Cracker Barrel last weekend. Also, what am I not at Cracker Barrel? Y'all know I am a Cracker Barrel.
Stan. It is my favorite restaurant, favorite date night spot. And I was on a date there. Yeah, y'all, we have, got someone in the works that I'm very, very excited about. It's not official yet, but it looks like it's trending that way. So isn't it coughing season? Hey, anyway, so there might be a soon to be announcement.
Which I'm very, very excited about, because this time last year, y'all, I was literally in one of the worst relationships of my life. So unhappy, so stressed out, like, healthy habits were not great partly because I was in my internship, but I was just so down. I was really in a funk and a lot of that was this relationship was, was weighing me down.
So it's really cool just to zoom out and look back and be like, wow, look at where it was a year ago and look at where I am now. And. It's, it's so much better. So much better. Anyway. So [00:03:00] hopefully we have some good news to tell you in a future episode, but yeah, I want to give you all this information now so that you can marinate on it, contemplate on it, embody some of these things, put these things into practice so that when you're actually on the holiday.
When you are with those difficult family members, when you need to have those difficult conversations or set a boundary, you're already prepared for that. You have already thought about things, you have put things into your routine. Like I want to give you time, a little bit of a runway to prepare for some of these things, because the holidays are a very difficult time, can be very emotional, can be very triggering, can just bring up a lot, and it can just be really hard.
It's a busy time, stressful time, For most of the, most of us around the country, it's a cold time. So it's it's difficult. And I hope that the tips and tricks and thoughts in this episode will, will give you some comfort and some things to [00:04:00] think on to best prepare for the holiday season. So the first question.
That I got that I want to talk through is someone wrote in and said, I've gained a lot of weight recently, and my family keeps picking on me and commenting on my weight, but I've been a caretaker for someone this year, and it's been very draining. What do I do? First, I want to say, thank you for writing in this question, it is very difficult to be a caretaker for someone.
I don't know if anyone listening to the show has been a caretaker, if you currently are, if you know someone that is, it's, it's very difficult. In my finals, flus and funerals episode, I talked about how I cared for my grandfather. I was very close with him. I cared for him at the end of his life. I wasn't.
His main caretaker, but I left my master's program. I left New York city for three weeks to take care of him at the end of his life. I was also a kind of a part time caretaker for my grandmother on my mom's side in Florida. And I went out frequently before [00:05:00] she passed to help take care of her. And it's very difficult.
And I'm like, if I just had to do that for a short period of time and I wasn't even the main caretaker and I felt thrown off with my routines. I even gained some weight. I felt thrown off and stressed and burnt out and not cared for it like, and I was intentionally trying to do things to care for myself.
And that's what I talk about in that episode. Like, I can't even imagine if you are a full time caretaker and maybe that's your job. Like, I don't know if this person is a caretaker, like they, maybe they have their own job, but then their caretaker for a family member or somebody else. On the side cause that can really be another full time job to, or if being a caretaker is their full time job, they didn't specify, but either way, being a caretaker is, is very draining and it's very easy to neglect yourself, neglect your health, put yourself in the back burner because who you're taking care of needs your full energy and attention.
And this is why I always say MRS, the missus has to come first. Me first [00:06:00] responsibility. Second serving others. Third, you have to take care of yourself and do. something to fill your cup up, to fill your picture up so that you can pour into other people so that you can show up for your roles and responsibilities and who, who really needs you to your fullest capacity or the fullest capacity that you're able to.
And in the way that those people maybe expect or, or deserve and the way that you as your best self would want to show up. So. We need to be caring for ourselves, so I'll link up the finals, flus and funerals episode in the show notes so that y'all can hear some of those tips because it just talked about, like, when you're in a busy season, when you're going through these things, how can you best care for yourself to show up for other people?
And I think a lot of the times during the holidays, we also have to take on that role as well. Like, we want to be present. We have to do stuff around the house. Maybe we're taking care of other people. If people are visiting us, there's just a lot of to do's and roles we have [00:07:00] to, we have to take on. So how do we not neglect ourselves in a season like that?
So I'll talk about some things today for sure, but also that episodes diet dives a lot deeper. Like when you're in a busy season during finals, what if, when you're sick, which is so applicable for. Right now we're kind of in flu season and I know another variant of COVID is going around. I had COVID a couple of months ago in August and y'all, I had COVID a couple of years ago, but I think I had the Delta variant, Omicron, like one of those.
And I got it again this last August and I, I couldn't get out of bed for three days. It hit me so much harder this time than it did a couple of years ago. Like a couple of years ago, I got it around Thanksgiving and I was still launching. Like we were doing our healthy holiday challenge. I was still showing up on my Instagram.
So like literally nobody was the wiser. I was just quarantining for my apartment, but nobody had any idea because I'm always making content and showing up and coaching from. My apartment. I'm so like, nobody was the wiser. So like I was just there quarantining still working. But this time, you know, I, I had to like cancel coaching [00:08:00] calls.
Like it was bad. Like I couldn't get out of bed for three days. It was, and we had to move our launch back for the better together. Like it was a whole thing. So yeah, like anyway, finals, flus and funerals that episode we'll link up in the show notes. Cause that'll give you some additional tips for this episode.
And I definitely want to encourage the person that wrote in this question to please check out that episode as well. So that would be the first thing as a caretaker, you need to care for yourself and you. You need to recognize that you are serving a bigger purpose right now and what other people are saying has nothing to do with you.
Whenever people comment on your body, say something negative, it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. They are projecting, it's triggering something in them. They're feeling some sort of way and they are projecting that onto you. So it's, it's really hard to not take that personally when it feels like a personal attack, especially when our bodies are so personal.
So people should not be commenting on people's bodies. However, people do they feel like they have some sort of right. They have the audacity [00:09:00] to be doing this. So I said this in a previous episode, but you need to just put on that raincoat and let that wash off and not internalize that and take that personally.
Because. It's, they, sometimes they don't know that what they're saying is hurtful. And even if they do hurt people, hurt people. So you can start to empathize with them. And if you really think on it, like, wow, like they must be having such a hard life or be going through something to really say that to another person, especially if they know or have the awareness that that's hurtful and it doesn't normally have anything to do with you.
It has more to do with them. So that can help you to step into their shoes and be a little bit more empathetic. And. And not take that so personally, it might feel like a personal attack, but it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. So yeah, family members are commenting on, this person's weight and they said, Hey, I have gained weight recently and weight gain might not necessarily be a bad [00:10:00] thing.
I mean, I. work with so many clients of all different shapes and sizes. And there are some clients that they gain some weight in a day. Then they start getting their period back. They actually have more energy because they're finally nourishing themselves adequately. So waking can be a very good and healthy thing to settle.
Like, I think it's society says, Oh, waking is bad. It's like, no, actually not in all cases. It's, it's so individual. However, it sounds like here, this person has maybe gained weight because they're a caretaker. And I'm just assuming, but it sounds like because they were maybe neglecting their healthy habits because they've been a caretaker.
And it's almost like, can't you just shake these family members and, you know, say like, Hey, like, don't you see all that I'm doing? Like I'm trying my you know, so if they're not able to see that and extend to you that grace. You need to extend yourself that grace and not let their comments internalize you because you know you are doing everything you can to juggle [00:11:00] everything in this season.
And it is okay. And this is probably a temporary season, or at least I hope it is. So this isn't going to be forever and this sometimes we just go through a season where we need to kind of care for more people and for us just do the bare minimum or do what we can to get by, but it's not always going to be like this.
And so I would encourage you to give yourself some grace and to maybe look at your healthy habits. Because sometimes we gain weight because we are too stressed. We're not fueling ourselves adequately. And it's not necessarily like we're gaining fat back. It's because we are just under a lot of stress and our body is holding on to more water, holding on to more inflammation because maybe our healthy habits are out of whack and our stress levels are through the roof.
So how can we start to regulate some of those things and give our bodies more consistency and make our bodies feel safe? Versus feeling like they're, they're freaking out and fight or flight all the time. So [00:12:00] I would just take stock of your healthy habits and not try and change everything, but celebrate the wins that, and I talked about this when I mentioned my recent weight gain and what I did, because I was starting to go down a very negative shame spiral.
But then I was like, Hey, Hey. I am doing a lot of things right for my health. So I stopped and I celebrated myself. Hey, I have been fueling myself consistently. I haven't always been consistent with eating breakfast, but I have been, I've been nourishing myself. Well, having balanced meals, eating consistently and.
I've been hitting my water goal. That's something that has been working really well for me right now. And with that, I have a couple of healthy habits that are not clicking right now. I wasn't moving my body in a way that feels good and I wasn't showing up for exercise consistently. And I really was out of whack with my morning and evening routines and I wasn't getting adequate sleep.
And it really was, if you listen to my, how to stop snoozing episode. It really is an evening routine problem. So I needed to go to bed earlier so that I wasn't continuing to [00:13:00] sleep in and then missing my morning routine and getting started later with my day. So I needed to fix my evening routine. And ever since I've done that, I have been sleeping better, getting up easier, having more energy, and I feel less inflamed and my period has regulated out.
And it's just, it feels, it feels. Good. It feels good. And that was something that I could control in in a way that wasn't disordered. So I would take stock of your healthy habits, celebrate what you're already doing well, and then pick one, maybe two, one, maybe two healthy habits to bring more intention to.
Now, we're not gonna start a diet. We're not gonna do anything excessive. We're not gonna join a crazy a workout plan that's super aggressive and vigorous. We're just going to do something, bring more attention or intention to that healthy habit and set a small goal. In a way that's not disordered to that would help us feel more grounded and make us feel like, okay, like I am taking care of myself in addition to being a caretaker because with the [00:14:00] MRS, you do have to come first so that you can best care for the people around you.
And I'm hoping that that will allow you to feel more grounded and feel like you have more control in the season without taking disordered action to try and quickly lose weight. Because if you do that, you're going to put your body in more. Harm and your body's going to still be under a state of stress if you crash diet over exercise overexert yourself Sounds like if this person's a caretaker like they they just sound burnt out in this message so we don't want to overexert ourselves, but what would be nourishing?
What would be life giving? What would be replenishing in terms of healthy habits? And which healthy habit can you bring a little bit more attention to? Now, I can't guarantee that your weight is going to move in any way. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have enough information right in this question to know what's going to go on with that person's body.
But whenever we focus on intentional weight loss or the number on the scale, it increases our risk for doing things that are more disordered and or getting an eating disorder. So we need to not focus on the weight [00:15:00] because the weight isn't a behavior. Can't control that weight is multifactorial. There's so many things that go into it.
We can't change that. However, we can impact and change and control our healthy habits. So that's where we want to set goals. And that will allow you to feel more grounded and feel like you have more momentum. And then your body will do what you may. And you'll probably find that once you feel more grounded and you're caring for yourself too, and you have more energy.
That and you just feel like you're doing something for yourself in addition to being a caretaker. It might not matter so much what your body is doing in the season because you're also going to give yourself grace. You're going to show yourself more compassion. And there are actually studies that show that the more self compassion you show yourself more warmth and understanding that you show yourself, the more likely you are.
To keep engaging in a healthy lifestyle. So the more consistent you'll be. So it's actually beneficial to show yourself more warmth and compassion and show yourself more grace in the season because you'll show up for yourself more consistently. And they've done [00:16:00] studies on that, which is super, super cool.
So that's what I would say. Don't worry about what the family members are saying. Let that roll off, put on that raincoat, remember MRS and do something to care for yourself and take that healthy habit. inventory and pick one or two things to bring more intention or attention to and set goals around that healthy habit that are not disordered, aren't drastic, aren't extreme, but are realistic that will allow you to feel more grounded in this season.
And I hope that that is helpful. Okay. So I got another question that said, I'm really nervous to go home because my mom always comments on my body. And I don't know how to approach it. I don't want to deal with that this year. This is really, this is really hard because when people comment on your body and they're a family member, there's a couple of different routes that you can take.
If it's a family member that you don't really see that often, maybe you really don't necessarily care about their opinion. You know that they're just kind of in their own world. They have their own beliefs and you're not going to change them and they're just kind of always going [00:17:00] to be who they are and say what they want.
Maybe, and you only see them a couple times a year, maybe it's not worth it to you to have a conversation with that person. It might still be an opportunity for you to, educate them on the harmful impacts of their comments and on diet culture and, ooh, especially weight or food related comments. That might be an opportunity to educate them or just plant some seeds.
Always recommend that. If it's, if you feel that it's a good time, an appropriate setting, it would be beneficial to plant a couple seeds. And you feel led to do that, a hundred percent do that. Why not plant the seeds? But if you're like this person's just, it's just not worth it. Oh, I don't, I don't want to deal with that today.
And you want to protect your own peace, then do that. There is no obligation for you to say anything back to people that comment on your body or your eating. So you can redirect the conversation. And say, Oh yeah, like speaking, if someone's comments on your body's like, Oh, you're eating a lot this holiday season and be like, Oh yeah, like speaking of the holidays, like, have you guys tried any recipes this year?
Like any new recipes or[00:18:00] I don't know, like you could just redirect the conversation nice weather. We're having redirect the conversation to something else. You can just simply ignore the comment, ignore that person. You can say, I'd rather not discuss this. And move on. So those are definitely things that, that you can say and you don't have to engage with that.
Or you can simply say like, you know, I understand that that's how you feel. I am just, I'm on my own journey with my relationship with food and I'm navigating that and this is what I'm doing in the season and. And it's, it's making me feel, feel good and yeah, like I actually feel good about my choices and how I'm choosing to eat in the season and, and explore intuitive eating and you don't necessarily have to go in and explain what that is, but I'm exploring a non diet approach and, I don't know, it's been working for me so far and it's been making me feel good.
So, yeah, that's, what's been working for me and you do you, you do you, but this is what's working for me. You can also use humor to kind of like disarm the conversation. And. And, you know, just [00:19:00] say like, Oh yeah, like this, this is, I'm eating all the sweets this season, you know, and just kind of laugh it off.
And they're going to see that as maybe like, Oh, this person's like indulging, but you're going to see it as no, I'm allowing myself to have peace with food and all foods can fit. And you're not going to go overboard because you're, you're going to savor it. And you know, because you listen to the be about being better podcast, that restrictions lead to binges.
It's either physical restrictions or mental restrictions. So like, you know, that like the other person might not be there yet with their relationship with food or know really anything about the negative impacts of diet culture. But you listen to this show enough to know that it's the restrictions that lead to binges.
So yeah. Yeah. Like if you know for yourself, you're just going to have that sweet treat and you're going to savor it. And somebody else is saying something about it. It's like, they're not you. They don't have to worry about you. Like you're worrying about you and you know, your relationship with food and you know what you're working through and you know what's best for you and you know, your own health and dieting history.
So you don't have to worry about people's comments. Like someone can say something and you can just kind of laugh it off and, and [00:20:00] you can still be secure in how you're approaching food because it has nothing to do with them. And it's between you and your own body. Now, this comment, it sounds like this person is pretty close with their mom.
And I was getting the vibe that they maybe wanted to have a conversation with them. So if, if, if this is someone that you want to have a conversation with, you might want to consider one of two things, one, what you would say in the moment. And if, This person says something to you and it's a family member that you really care about and you want to set a boundary with them.
But you're not quite sure if they're gonna say anything, but you anticipate that they might. Think about beforehand. What would you say in a loving way, in non combative way, non defensive way? What would you say to them in the moment to set a firm and kind boundary? There's really a difference between being nice and being kind.
Being nice sometimes, I feel like we, we tend to just be a doormat [00:21:00] almost and people pleasing and like, I don't know, just being more like submissive with our, with ourselves and ignoring our own convictions and beliefs for the sake of not contributing to any. conflict or a ripple in the water, anything like that.
But if you are kind, you can still set a firm boundary, but you can do that with a smile. You can do that with kindness. You can do that in a way that's not rude or critical or judgmental. Using a lot of I statements definitely helps. I feel like my therapist always talks with me about that. And. Yeah. So I think it's better to be, to be kind and set a boundary if you feel the need to, but do so in a way with a smile that, or you're just kind of cool as a cucumber, not emotional.
And you can practice that and you can prep that, what you would say and how you would say it beforehand. If you want to set a boundary in the moment, like, you know, I hear you. I don't really. I, I don't [00:22:00] appreciate comments on my food or my body. Like this is how I'm choosing to eat. And I'm working on my relationship with food and comments like that make me feel X, Y, Z deflated, frustrated.
unworthy, insecure, like, so it, the comments like that are not helpful for me navigating food, especially during the holiday season. So I would appreciate if we could just stay away from any comments on, on food or body. And just leave it at that. And one thing that my therapist told me is that you should use a lot of I statements, but then when you're talking about what you should do or what you want the other person to do to switch to we statements.
So I feel X, Y, Z when you blah, blah, blah. So I would prefer if we. avoided conversations about food or body. If we didn't comment on what we were eating, you both are part of the solution. You're not like, I would prefer if you didn't do this and you didn't do that because you make me feel [00:23:00] X, Y, Z. You can set a boundary in a kind way, and you can already be preparing what to say in the moment. You might also consider having a preemptive conversation before you arrive home for the holidays before someone comes to your house before you see someone and kind of explain where you're at with things, you know, in previous years, I have felt using those I statements again, I have felt X, Y, Z, when comments have been made about my body food, how I raise my kids, you know, all, whatever you're, you know, wanting to set a boundary.
And so I would just prefer when I get home for the holidays, when you arrive, we, we just talk about other things and just kind of keep that off the table. Like, I just really want to have, you know, a good fun holiday season. And I just don't, I just don't want to bring that up. Just, just keep it light or, or avoid those things, you know, so I would say something like that.
And I said, like, you know, how do you feel about that? Is, is that okay? And what questions do you have? So it kind of opens it up for a little bit more dialogue, but that's [00:24:00] how I would approach a preemptive conversation. So I would think. About do I need to have a preemptive conversation and what could I say in the moment?
And then you also have to think about if you have that preemptive conversation and that person crosses that boundary and like it does it anyway, what are you going to do in that instance? Are you going to walk away and disengage from the conversation? Are you going to say something in the moment like, Mom, this is exactly what I was trying to talk to you about before.
This is a perfect example of, cause they might not know what they're doing. They might, but they also might, might not because especially in our mom's generation, like dye culture is just so, so ingrained and even more ingrained than, than I think us as a younger generation. So you might have to be really explicit and be like, mom, this is, I talked with you about this, but remember our conversation that we had a couple weeks ago, it's comments like that, that make me feel X, Y, Z, [00:25:00] and are really harmful.
To me and, make me question my relationship with food and make me feel uncomfortable eating around you. They don't make me feel comfortable in my, in my body around you because I feel like this kind of perceived judgment or real judgment. So, like, that's a perfect example of a comment or a statement or a question that that isn't productive and something I would just rather that we avoid.
Does that make sense? That could be a good way for you to, if you set a boundary beforehand, had a preemptive conversation, how you could handle it if they still are making those comments anyway, because they might need that reminder and that might say to them like, Oh, that's what she's talking about.
Okay. I know not to do that. So I hope that, that that's helpful. And also just think about like, is this, is this person worth it to you? Because if it's some like aunts or uncle that you're like not going to see very often and I just put on that raincoat and let it roll off and just ignore the conversation or laugh it off because.
They're in their own world, [00:26:00] and they might not be close enough to you to like, to like, it's not necessarily worth your energy to have these preemptive conversations or to plant seeds to educate, although you absolutely can but someone that's a closer family member, it might, and these difficult conversations are important.
Short term discomfort for potentially long term gain, and you could be planting seeds and potentially have more holiday seasons where you do feel comfortable. And these conversations are ultimately going to aid in a healthier relationship with food in the long run. If you keep planting these seeds now, so if you feel uncomfortable at home, you have the opportunity to break some of these generational ties and to heal their relationship with food and open their eyes to, to see how much they are critical of themselves, other people's bodies, other people's food habits, and just bring attention to it.
A lot of people don't know what they don't know, and they might not realize how brainwashed they've been by diet culture. So. [00:27:00] You could be pointing out a lot of things to them and bringing awareness that they might not have right now and starting to do this and plant the seeds this holiday season might pave the way for future holiday seasons where you don't have to do that and everyone's just at peace with food.
And that might be wishful thinking. No, but I, I think there really is, there are opportunities to create change. I think sometimes just. takes longer. It takes more seeds to be planted than others. Some people take longer to grow, but you won't know until you plant the seed. You won't know until you have that difficult conversation and Sometimes you have to rough up the foundation a little bit to be able to lay down something stronger.
And when you rough it up, like if you think about someone that's like a construction worker that's roughing up a foundation before they lay down some nice new pavement, they have to literally take a jackhammer and there's stuff flying everywhere and it's very aggressive and it gets real rough before you get to the other side where things are really smooth.
And the Bible even talks about this. That where an iron sharpens iron, so one friend [00:28:00] sharpens another. So if you two are bettering each other and you're having this difficult conversation, like think about iron sharpening iron. Like there's literally friction there and there are little shards and pieces of, of the metal that are being pruned off.
So and there's friction there and there's heat and tension. So This is to be expected in the growth process. So these difficult conversations are short term discomfort for potentially long term gain. Okay. The next question I got was about sugar cravings. And what do I do about my sugar cravings? Are these bad?
And I want to say, no, the sugar cravings are not bad. Sugar cravings are information. Your body is trying to tell you something. And most of the time when we crave sugar, it's because we're not getting enough fuel. We're not feeding ourselves enough. We're not feeding ourselves consistently, or we're not fueling ourselves in a balanced way because you could be [00:29:00] eating a lot of sugar, like calorie dense.
items and like maybe hitt calories that you, your b for the day. And that's o for everyone. But if you and avoiding any fat, avo you're not going to kee
Carbohydrates because it doesn't feel satisfied because you're not rounding it out with fats or proteins that actually keep us full. So you might not be eating enough or you might not be having balanced meals. So that's how we best handle the sugar cravings. And from a non diet standpoint with intuitive eating, we want to take on an addition mindset where we allow ourselves to have the treat because all foods fit.
And what could I pair with that addition mindset? What could I pair with that to keep me satiated? So I'm going to have a cookie and cookie. And what is that? It can be a cheese stick, protein bar, Turkey slices, hard boiled egg, a spoonful of peanut butter, handful of nuts, something like that. What is, going to keep me satiated and [00:30:00] full.
Give me some protein. Give me some healthy fats that will help to stabilize your blood sugar. But part of it is because it's keeping you fuller longer. It's slowing down the digestion process, bringing your your blood sugar down. And that will help to keep your cravings at bay because when our blood sugar is more stable, we don't go through these swings where we feel really lethargic and low energy and.
Like when our blood sugar is low, we do get shaky. We do get hungry. We do kind of experience brain fog and we just overall feel very weak. And our body craves sugar, craves carbs because it's looking for more energy because you're physically tired. And our bodies are so smart. They know that out of all the macronutrients, carbohydrates get digested.
It gives us energy the fastest. So that's why your body creates sugar because carbs are the same as sugar. It's our body's primary energy source. It's our body's preferred energy source as well. And our bodies know like that's just going to give [00:31:00] us the quickest jolt. So when you need energy, when you need more fuel, when you need more gas in the gas tank, your body is going to crave that.
But we just know if we eat a donut, if we just eat a cookie, yes, that'll give us some quick energy in the moment, but then we'll crash later. So that's why. It's okay to have the cookie. And with that, we need some other things that are going to keep us full, keep us balanced. And actually when you pair different food groups together, different macros together, your blood sugar spike, your insulin spike, insulin is the hormone that comes out to take blood sugar out of your blood and into your muscles and into your liver and other places.
So when blood sugar goes up and you eat something sugary insulin, If things are working appropriately also goes up as well, so you don't have such a big blood sugar rise. If you have a mixed meal, you don't have insulin. That's like a huge. You know, we don't have a huge spike of insulin. It becomes a little bit more stable.
It's not such a big peak. And with that, we don't have such a big peak. We don't have such a. Large valley or dip as well. So you don't get so low, but things are a little bit more stable. And with that, you're [00:32:00] able to make more sound, intentional food choices. You're not being led by your cravings. You're able to intentionally choose because your blood sugar, you know, your, your energy levels aren't swinging up high and low, but you're able to be more even keel.
So sugar cravings are not something to fear. It's information that your body is looking for more fuel, more consistent fuel. Okay. And your body is looking for more balanced meals. So it's looking for more things to eat. So it's okay to have carbs. It's okay to have sugar. And with that, we want to have a balanced meal.
What other food groups can we pair with that to keep your blood sugar a little bit more stable? Keep you fuller for longer. That's what I would say about that. Okay. The next question I got is how do I not feel so gross and bloated? holidays. Y'all, this is, this is the hard one, but I mostly hear this on Thanksgiving or after these really big meals or like a really big potluck that people are feeling super gross imploded.
And this is because. People are eating [00:33:00] too fast and eating too much in one sitting. And most of the time, this stems from them saving all of their calories and not eating until this big meal. And this is not what we want to do. And I know that this is very counter cultural, but this is what needs to happen.
Y'all need to eat breakfast on Thanksgiving. I know, I know I said it, but we cannot be waiting until 3 p. m. to have our first meal of the day. Hello. Why is this normalized in our society? For real? Like, you are not going to ruin your Thanksgiving dinner by eating breakfast hours earlier. And if a family member says that to you, literally say no, you're going to do what you want.
Because here's the thing. If you don't eat. Number one, you probably have so many, so many years of data of what happens when you don't eat and then you save yourself for that meal, so This isn't new information, you know, you fill up your plate so quick, you eat so fast, you get so full, you're overstuffed, then you're [00:34:00] on the couch like rithering in pain.
I can't tell you how many holidays I've literally gone to my room and cried after I ate a meal because I'm like, I am just so uncomfortably full and I feel so bloated. Why did I just eat all of that?
If you chose to have breakfast before, balance your pleasure a little bit, keep you full. You're able to not be so ravenous by the time you approach that big meal. So you're able to walk into that meal with more intention. You're able to slow down. You're actually able to savor when you are completely starving and ravenous.
You're just like, I need to eat anything as fast as possible. And I need, I need this so quick because my body. is calling for this. Like you end up having like no control over your hunger cues. You're totally out of touch with your hunger and fullness cues, no control over what you're eating. You do feel very out of control with food.
So if you're eating consistently, your blood sugar is going to be more stable. You're, you're going to enter that big meal. feeling more in control. You're going to be able to slow down when you eat, savor [00:35:00] what you're, what you eat. So much preparation goes into these big holiday meals. Then we eat it so fast and it's over.
And it's like, like, yeah, yeah, you do get to enjoy like the leftovers and stuff, but it's like, it's just over in a flash. And I find that we don't really dine. We don't really savor because. We're so ravenous, we just plow through the meal. So it's really important that you are eating before, not like you're not going to ruin the meal.
You're actually, this is going to give you an opportunity to fully enjoy the meal and savor the experience because you're not going to plow through it. You're going to be able to slow down, really savor your food .
And sense when you're comfortably full and then stop eating from there. So I hope that that's helpful. And this is something that I want you to start practicing before we get to Thanksgiving. Before we get to these big holiday meals. This is a practical thing that you can start doing now is making sure that you're eating.
at least three meals a day, maybe one to two snacks, but let's just start with like eating breakfast and eating three standard meals a day and keeping that in practice and [00:36:00] doing that day in and day out and practicing slowing down, putting your fork down in between bites, chewing until your food is applesauce texture.
And. Just enjoying your meal and bringing more attention and awareness to it. That's what I would suggest you start practicing now because that will serve you for these big holiday dinners. And that will allow you to not feel so gross and bloated after. Okay, the next question I got is, how do I keep up with my routines while traveling?
So I'm going to link up the main character morning routine episode. That's one of our most popular episodes for the show. And I walk through our Be About Being Better method for Creating a morning and evening routine. So definitely check that out because this is something very similar to the last question.
I want you to start creating your main character morning routine now. So it's like, how do I keep up with my routines while traveling? Well, do you keep up with any sort of routine while you're home? If not, that's the first step is like getting a routine that you [00:37:00] genuinely like. That lights you up now because then you'll have a baseline to modify when you're traveling.
It's impossible to keep up with everything you do in your normal setting when you're traveling or you have people visiting you, you're on the go, have less time, more distractions, X, Y, Z. So you can take your baseline morning routine and modify it. How could I shorten this? How could I just pluck out and do during the holidays, the one or two things that light me up the most?
What are the... A couple things or one thing that's the most effective in my morning routine. What makes me feel my best? So the more the main character morning routine episode talks about how you actually want to feel walking into your day. So think about, okay, how do I want to feel walking downstairs to interact with my family during the holidays?
Do you want to feel calm, less stressed, but with your cup full, do you want to feel energized, empowered, happy, content? And how do you want to feel at peace? How do you [00:38:00] want to feel and what's going to enable you to feel that way? That's what you want to do in your morning routine. And if you don't know what that one or maybe those two things are.
Then that's what you need to explore before you get there for the holidays. So you got to start some trial and correction, figuring that out, what's going to be the most effective thing for you. And then do those things like before you leave your room, do it first thing in the morning. Brian Tracy is like a huge personal development guru and he has a book called eat that frog.
And the premise of the book is like, if you had to eat a frog every single day, when is the best time to eat that frog? And he argues the best time to eat that frog is first thing in the morning, get it over with, because if you don't. And you keep pushing it off and you keep procrastinating it. You're thinking about it.
You're dreading it. It's pulling your energy. It's pulling your focus. It's distracting you like you're dreading it all day. Whereas if you just nipped it in the bud, [00:39:00] you would be done with it. It would be over and you could move on. with the rest of your day. So you need to be doing these things in the morning before you get going, before you have the craziness of the holidays, before you have to deal with your crazy family, do these things in the morning, get it over with, eat that frog.
Okay. The last question that we're going to answer is, How do we handle different potlucks and Friendsgivings without going overboard? Now obviously every potluck and Friendsgiving looks a little different. Sometimes these places have food catered if it's like a work event, so you might not have control over the food.
But if it's a potluck and you do have control over the food, or at least one dish that you're going to bring, don't be the person that brings the napkins. Okay. Do not, don't be the person that brings the drinks, bring a dish that you would genuinely eat. What would you want there? Bring it. I know this is kind of selfish, but sorry.
I just think this is like necessary. Like if you are concerned about not having something [00:40:00] to eat there that you would genuinely enjoy, that would make you feel best. You need to bring that dish. You need to take that initiative. So if you're concerned that there's not gonna be any vegetables there, you bring the vegetable.
And it doesn't have to be like a cold salad, like you could bring like a green bean casserole or a corn casserole. I just talked about in the last episode and I talked about on my Instagram like the benefits of corn, like it is okay to have corn. There's fiber, there's magnesium, there's folate, there's vitamin C, like fiber, like anyway, corn is great.
So bring a corn casserole, you can bring some Brussels sprouts, everyone, I don't want to say everyone loves Brussels sprouts, but I think a lot of people are surprised that they like Brussels sprouts once they actually try them and have them like doctored up, obviously just steamed or they're completely disgusting, but if you have a couple of bacon bits in there, drizzle on some balsamic, like, they're just so good or some maple syrup, like so good anyway.
So yeah, be that person. Like what dish could you bring that you would genuinely eat? That would make you feel better. And I'm [00:41:00] sure other people would benefit from that dish as well. Now, if you don't have control over the food or maybe you do, but you're trying to build your plate, I always like to build my plate during the holidays or at an event like this.
So that it looks like a peace sign. So you have things divvied up like a third, a third, a third, a third of your plate could be carbohydrates, a third of your plate protein, and a third of your plate fruit vegetable. So you get a good mix there. Normally how we recommend like the my plate method. Half of your plate is fruits and vegetables, a quarter of your plate protein, a quarter of your plate carb.
I just don't know if that's realistic during the holidays. Plus, there are so many, like, amazing, great, seasonal carb choices. And, like, you want to choose the things that are seasonal because those are fun. Like, you could get, I know I use this example, like, every year, but you could get chocolate lava cake.
Anytime, anywhere, like get the pumpkin pie, get the mashed potatoes, which I know you can get mashed potatoes any time of year too, but like, if this is your time of year where you love, like, you know, the stuffing, like I am such a stuffing stan, I'm going to go hard [00:42:00] on the stuffing because I don't really get that.
I don't make that for myself any other time of the year. So get the seasonal things, prioritize those things. That's what I would do. And split up your plate a third, a third, a third, where things are a little bit more. Flexible, but you're still getting balance in and if you have, if you kind of build your plate around like the vegetables and the protein, those things will fill you up because you got the fiber and obviously the protein content will keep you satiated and full.
And the other thing that I like to recommend is if it's. Like family style or buffet style, look at everything that's available first before you start building your plate. Look at everything that's available and then walk away. Say, Oh, Hey, I got to go to the bathroom, got to answer a call. Like take a moment to yourself to reflect on what you saw on the table and ask yourself, what do I really want?
What is my body calling for? What seems interesting to me? And choose those things and then go back to the table. Now that you've had a level head that you've had a chance to think about it. Like this is [00:43:00] intuitive eating, turning inward and asking yourself, what is my body calling for? What do I want? In leading from that place versus leading from an external place of what, what you feel like you should eat or like how many macros you have left or what other people think about your plate or what other people are assuming about you, like, these are all just like perceived judgments and just external rules that have you deny.
What your body is actually calling for and in the intuitive eating workbook that I go through with my clients, we were just on our group call yesterday. So our better together program is our six month. group coaching program where we break away from diet culture, embrace intuitive eating so that you can have a more sustainable and joyful and fulfilling life that's free of dieting.
So the first three months of the program, we go through this intuitive eating workbook and there was a line in chapter one. That really spoke to this. Okay. Let me, let me find it. [00:44:00] Okay. It says the dieting mentality erodes trust in your body because the rules like the food rules micromanage and dictate your food choices, regardless of how you feel.
This creates a cognitive dissonance, a clash between what you are experiencing to be true and what you're told to do, which leads to confusion about eating. With the common lament, I don't know how to eat anymore. How many times have y'all said, I just don't know what to eat anymore because like the food rules and these external pressures or your macros, my fitness pal is telling you, this is what you have left.
This is what you can eat. This is what you can eat. This is what you should eat. Versus what your body's actually calling for. I'm hungry. I want something salty. I want something crunchy. I want more. I'm hungry or I'm full. So yeah, it does create that cognitive dissonance. So you need to prioritize and listen to become more attuned to what your body is creating.
And this takes time. And that's why I wanted to make sure that we got this episode. uploaded [00:45:00] early for y'all, like before the holidays are in full, full force so that you can start to practice these things and become more attuned with your body's cues and what you're, what you're craving, because you could also become attuned to, okay, do I want something like cold or warm, salty, sweet, crunchy, smooth, creamy.
Like you will start to pick up some of those flavor and texture profiles as well. The more and more. You become attuned to what your body is actually craving. So good. Yeah, I hope that that's helpful and I'm sure we have all felt that cognitive dissonance at one point or another. If you're realizing that you need support with this, and if you're also realizing that you don't have a community of people in your family or in your social circle that is Like non diet and is just so in the thick of diet culture and there's nobody that is embracing this and you want to have more conversations about it, [00:46:00] you want to learn more about it.
Our better together program is for you. If you need more individual support in this area, the better together program is for you. Especially because. We're going to be having community support. We're going to be having accountability. We're going to be having coach was through the holiday season. So you're going to get support and you're going to have a safe place to like vent about your family and ask questions.
Be like, what do I do in this situation? And how did I get, I'm going to be in your corner. The community is going to be in your corner. A lot of people need this community need a place to lean on and a safe space to open up to during the holiday season. And this could be your space. So there really has been such a positive response from the first class that we'd launched in October.
And we've had a lot of new people come into our audience recently, and I've been just getting a lot of comments and DMs from y'all that you are needing this type of support. So I've decided to launch another round of the program again to start November 6th to take us through the holidays. And the [00:47:00] workbook, this intuitive eating workbook that I was just reading from will be provided to you.
I'll send it to you along with a gratitude journal. And we'll have weekly calls for the first three months and then every other week for the second three months, definitely listen to, I'll link it up in the show notes, but the better method or six step framework to food freedom, that episode that we did recently talks all about the better method and my framework for the program.
So. That will be an important episode for you to listen to if you want some more information but yeah, we'll be going through the intuitive eating workbook, really internalizing those intuitive eating principles, ditching the diet mentality, having really fruitful conversations on the nuances of weight gain and weight loss and our beliefs around these things and the struggles with intuitive eating and comments on our bodies and how we feel about our own bodies.
So there's a lot of fruitful conversations, a lot of community and camaraderie. And the actual workbook in the curriculum to help you break away from diet culture for good and replace that [00:48:00] with a more sustainable, joyful, fulfilling way of eating and honestly way of living. Oh, I just, the group that we have going through right now, they, they're only a couple of weeks in, but they have had such amazing conversations, such amazing breakthroughs.
We have one client now that's like. Yeah, I'm not gonna weigh myself anymore. I was like girl You're two weeks into the program and you were just weighing yourself every day and now you're like so ready to break up with the scale Wow, wow, that's incredible. So I know that change can happen so quickly and that's why we need community and You probably need this type of support in this season Especially if you don't have friends or family members that are embracing a non diet approach and are honestly just very triggering for you so information is gonna be in the show notes about the better method the website page with more information about the better together program.
And if you are curious. About the program, but you're not totally sure if it's for you, then schedule a clarity call with me, you and I can get on zoom. We can talk about the program and your goals specifically and see if the [00:49:00] program makes sense for you. So go ahead and book that free clarity call with me and we can chat more about your individual case and see if the program makes sense and get all of your individual questions answered.
Yay. Thank you so much for listening today. I am so excited for you all to enter the holiday season. My hope and prayer is that You really sit on what we talked today and think about how you can start embodying and applying these things now before you're actually in the situation during the holidays.
And please DM me if you have any questions. And if you're curious about the better together program, go ahead and book a clarity call. Talk to you soon.
Yeah. Hey y'all, thanks again for listening to the Be About Being Better podcast. I so appreciate you. If this episode made you laugh, smile, think about yourself or your life differently, [00:50:00] in any way making your life better, I empower you to share this show with three people who, just like you, need to hear this message and have this type of transformation in their lives.
I personally read all the reviews of the show and see the Instagram story shares, and It honestly gives me so much joy to see that our mission is making people's lives better. And the reviews really do help in increasing our impact. So thank you so much for taking the time to do that. If you need personalized support with anything discussed in today's episode, or need help creating a sustainable, diet free lifestyle, take my quiz.
It's linked below in the show notes, and that quiz will help you see which one of our coaching programs is right for you. Thank you so much again for listening, and here's to being about being better.
